A Deadly Game
by BonitaChic
Summary: "I trembled with fear as I realized the possibilities of how he could violate me for his sick game. All of my bravery was gone. I was weak and human and finally as scared as I should have been all along." **REWRITING THE PLOT! Updates on chapters 3-10**
1. Chapter 1

Normal

Ch 1

BPOV

(Italics: Pg 450, Twilight)

"_Would you like to rethink your last request?" He asked pleasantly. His toe nudged my broken leg and I heard a piercing scream. With a shock I realized it was mine. _

"_Wouldn't you rather have Edward try to find me?" he prompted._

"_No!" I croaked. "No, Edward, don't –" _

James cut off my plea. He grabbed a fistful of my hair and forced me into a kneeling position. My broken leg screamed in protest. I tried to stifle a gasp of pain but his smirk let me know he was enjoying my suffering. He picked up the little digital video camera from its place on the VCR and held it in front of my face. I stared numbly at the small blinking red light, still recording.

"I think your Edward will enjoy this little video. Maybe he'll enjoy seeing the things I'm going to do to you?" he mocked.

His hand fisted tighter in my hair as he jerked my body against his own. His tight grip held me in place. Pulling the fistful of hair, he forced my head to tilt back-- exposing my neck. He turned my face toward the camera, positioning me like a puppet. I choked back any sound of pain, knowing that the theatrics were all meant for Edward. I wouldn't allow my weakness to hurt him more.

"I've never seen such an odd spectacle. A vampire and a human. What is it about you that makes you so special?" He studied me quizzically. His head cocked to the side as if he were trying to achieve an angle that would unlock the puzzle.

"I just don't understand. Does your body tempt him more than your blood?" he growled against my neck. His tongue darted out to taste my skin and trailed a slow path up my neck to my ear. I shuddered in revulsion and squeezed my eyes closed.

He released his hold on my hair and I stumbled back a half step away from him. He moved so suddenly, I wasn't aware of what happened at first. He ripped my shirt from my body and I stood there as he stared at my exposed flesh. I stood trembling in just my bra and jeans. His expression was assessing. I began to see something more calculating forming behind his eyes. He took a step back from me, probably to get the full effect of the terrified human nearly cowering before him.

"Tell him you love him." he taunted. "Beg him to save you."

"Please. Don't." I choked out.

I couldn't move. I knew running was useless. I just stood there as he continued to leer at me. I trembled with fear as I realized the possibilities of how he could violate me for his sick game. All of my bravery was gone. I was weak and human and finally as scared as I should have been all along.

I tried to cover my body with my arms. His hand grabbed my arm roughly, yanking away my weak protection. He looked me up and down deliberately and I had to choke down my nausea.

"Beg _me _to let you live." he sneered.

When I remained frozen, his fingers clenched tightly around my neck. My hands clawed uselessly against his grasp. I couldn't breathe or speak. I could only shake my head while tears flowed down my cheeks. He pushed me roughly by my neck until my back and head slammed against a mirror. I heard the distinct sound of cracking glass and felt more pain to my abused body. The force of the impact caused my vision to go black around the edges. His hand released my neck and I gasped for air.

"Such sweet blood shouldn't go to waste on someone who won't even sample it." He pressed his finger firmly against my trembling, tear-stained lips and dragged it deliberately downward. His fingers trailed over my chin and down my throat, lingering at the hollow of my neck. He paused over my hammering pulse point and leaned in to inhale deeply.

"Ahh. I do so enjoy this part. The adrenaline makes even your delectable scent so much better." he purred with menacing pleasure.

The fear coursing through me and the trauma to my body became too much. I lost my tenuous grasp on consciousness. Everything went blurry and my vision went completely black.

**AN: I already have a few more chapters written. Review if you like it and I'll keep this going. The next chapter is from Edward's POV. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, and I mean no copyright infringement. **


	2. Chapter 2

Normal

Ch. 2

EPOV

This was the place - the ballet studio Alice saw in her vision. I yanked up on the emergency break and jumped from the car. It continued to screech to a stop behind me as I ran. My first breath of air told me Bella was here… and bleeding. My mind went in to a frenzy as I registered this. I quickly shoved the snarling red – eyed monster's bloodlust to the darkest recesses of my mind.

As I ran toward the front entrance the smell of her blood became stronger. I distantly registered the second car's wheels screeching to a stop. My family would be right behind me. I burst through the front doors - not pausing long enough to open them - and followed her scent to the studio in the rear of the building.

The room was destroyed -- broken mirrors along the walls and shards of glass lying across the wooden studio floors. Her siren's blood was a startling crimson red against the light tones of wood and reflective glass. The sight caused me to internally quake in fear for her safety and simultaneously lust after the sweet nectar of her blood. I searched the entire building in seconds, but found no further evidence of her.

She was not here.

I desperately scanned the destroyed room again and noticed a palm sized digital video camera sitting in the middle of the floor. As I picked it up I could smell James' scent very strongly. I flipped open the little viewing screen. With a feeling of despair in the pit of my stomach, I pushed the play button.

I watched the small screen in horror as my Bella stumbled into the room. I watched the realization and relief dawn on her face as she watched the home video of her mother. I saw her futile attempt at escaping. I cringed with sickening nausea at the sound of her leg breaking and her screams of pain.

My horror turned to rage as I heard him taunting her. His words revealed his sick game. I barely registered that my family had gathered around me, watching as he grabbed her by the neck and tasted her flesh. My furious growls were echoed by my family's as he ripped her shirt from her body.

The horrific images continued. My heart wrenched as she sobbed in fear. I was horrified and unable to look away as he made her beg for her life. I saw her trembling as he slammed her into the mirror and his vile lips touched her bare skin. I couldn't do anything as I watched her hands struggle uselessly against his choke hold. My arms were useless as they subconsciously twitched forward to catch her as she finally slumped to the floor in unconsciousness.

I watched her lie on the glass covered floor as he turned his red eyes to the camera. He brought the camera closer and his face filled the entire frame.

"If you want to see your precious little human alive, and un-harmed, you will do exactly as I say. If you do not…" he shrugged and turned the camera back to Bella's unconscious, semi-naked and broken form. I was encouraged that although she was in bad shape, she was breathing and mercifully unaware.

"I might enjoy myself a little more than I originally thought. I'm not sure she can survive what I have planned for her, but I _can_ guarantee she won't enjoy it as much as I will." He paused and licked his lips as if to illustrate his vulgar thoughts. A twisted smile crossed his face and it was obvious he was very much enjoying himself.

"I've left an address for you on the paper by the television. Come alone. Tonight." He finished his demands and the recording ended.

The only sound was silence. I didn't know whether to give in to the crushing pain or into my murderous rage. The rage won out. The video camera crumpled to pieces of destroyed plastic and mechanical bits in my clenched fist.

For once, no one else's thoughts played in my head. There was simply too much shock and anger for words. They all stared at me, waiting for a reaction. I saw my face reflected in their minds and in their own expressions. The livid expression evident in the tensed muscles of my jaw and my flat coal-dark eyes were truly un-human.

"I'm going to go get Bella." I spat.

I paused because I knew they wouldn't like what I had to say next.

"And I'm going alone." I finished.

"Edward, you can't go by your –" Alice began.

"No." I cut her off. "He will know if I'm not alone. I can't let him hurt her. I won't take that risk." I could hear my family's arguments in their minds before they vocalized them. I could hear the fear and anger and their desires to protect Bella mirroring my own.

"I don't have time to argue about this, he could be hurting her." My voice broke as I felt the pain of that possibility. I closed my eyes and dragged in a quick, ragged breath. All I could see behind my lids was the way she trembled in fear and revulsion as he leered over her.

"I'm going to make her safe. And then I am going to tear him apart." I vowed.

And for once in my long, long existence both I and the red-eyed monster were in complete harmony as we planned to rejoice over his pile of ashes. I took two quick steps and snatched up the slip of paper with the address.

"We need to figure out an explanation for all the damage and the, um, blood. I don't think we can fix this quickly." Esme said, ever practical.

"Burn it." I spat and turned my back on the studio.

**AN: So here is the promised chapter from Edward's point of view. I hope I did a good job of portraying his despair and anger when he was watching the video. I felt like I couldn't come up with enough adjectives to describe being angry- hopefully that wasn't too annoying. As always, reviews are really helpful to keep me motivated on the story. I have the next two chapters all set, but I'm waffling on where I want to take this. Specifically, I want James to have an agenda. An ultimatum for our 'star crossed lovers'… any ideas? **

**Disclaimer: Not mine, Stephenie's. Sigh. No copyright infringement intended.**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

BPOV

**Italics from Twilight, pg 447

I awoke slowly with a building awareness of pain. My body ached. There wasn't a place that didn't hurt - my head, my leg, basically everywhere. The pain became more and more tangible as the forgiving release of unconsciousness left me. I groaned at the loss, now fully remembering my current circumstances. I opened my eyes.

I blinked, trying to adjust my vision to the dark. Nothing looked familiar, and I certainly wasn't in the ballet studio anymore. With my extensive experience injuring myself, I knew I was in bad shape. I took stock of myself. My leg was definitely broken, and as I reached up, I could feel the sticky, partially dried blood matted in my hair. I added head wound to the list.

As the memories came back of James and the ballet studio, I was truly surprised to be finding myself very much alive- the pain was evidence of that, and alive was more than I was expecting.

I peered into the dim light of the room trying to figure out where I was. All I could really discern was that it was dark and I was lying on the floor. With my lack of clothing the cold of the bare floor had seeped into my bones. I was freezing. I rubbed at my arms cringing from the friction against my many newly forming bruises.

I took comfort in my meager assessment of the situation. I was in some sort of metal room, a prison cell. It was dark and chilly. There was a small amount of weak, blue light flickering from a fluorescent light-panel in the ceiling. As my eyes adjusted, the light allowed me to take further stock of the room. The corners and walls were too dark to really see, but it seemed like I was alone. I decided I had done as much as was possible from my spot on the floor.

Pushing myself to stand, I hissed in pain over my broken leg. I stood slowly, hitching my good leg beneath me for leverage and keeping my broken one as straight and still as possible. Breathing heavily with the effort, I leaned against the wall for support. I was surprised to realize the walls were made of metal. Some sort of cell then. I hop-shuffled around the room, running my hands along the smooth metal walls, looking for a way out.

If I could find a door or a window, maybe I could form some kind of escape plan. Maybe this as-yet undiscovered exit would be unlocked and I could make a run for it. _And maybe vampires were only mythical creatures made up to scare children,_ a small voice in the back of my head mocked. I squelched it as quickly as I could, but the seed of despair remained in the pit of my stomach.

Hobbling forward, my fingers eventually found a seam in the wall. I eagerly followed the crack up as high as I could reach and around the outline of a door. Unfortunately, there was no knob or hinges on my side. I pushed against it, but it wouldn't budge- it was clearly locked from the outside. My brilliant escape plan was officially foiled. The seed of despair blossomed into a full-fledged tree.

I banged my fists against the door in frustration. Almost instantly I realized that I may not want to be calling attention to myself and jerked my hands away. It was a major miracle I was still alive. Tempting fate by asking for attention – especially with my luck – was probably not a good idea. I listened carefully for any response. Nothing.

Relieved, I backed into the furthest corner from the door and sank to the floor. I pulled my good leg into my chest for warmth, careful of my broken leg. I resigned myself to waiting.

I lost myself to thoughts of Edward and happier times. I spent an immeasurable amount of time reliving the happiest times together. If I was going to die, I wasn't going to cheat myself out of the famous flashback of your life. I wanted those memories to be fresh.

The door opened, interrupting my memories. I blinked against the bright light from outside, automatically shielding my eyes. I could see the silhouette of my captor in the doorway. He walked toward me stooping to bend at the knees in a fluid motion. I instinctively pushed back into the wall, away from him. The cold metal was unyielding against my back.

As he squatted in front of me and I could see that his expression was appraising. My eyes flicked to the door- which was still wide open. Even without my broken leg, I recognized that he wouldn't be worried about me making a run for it.

"Awake now, little human?" James asked in his deceivingly gentle voice. I didn't answer.

"I want you to know, I have this all carefully planned out. All I really need is a little challenge in my life. You and your vampire protectors were just too tempting to pass by. My biggest conquest yet." He looked at me hungrily.

"No offense, of course, but in the end, this was all a bit too easy." he sounded genuinely disappointed.

"You see," he continued conversationally, "I never thought about humans beyond my next meal. Don't get me wrong, I like to have a little fun with my food first... " he drifted off, remembering something apparently amusing to him. I shuddered at the casual way he referred to his 'fun'.

"But I guess I just never thought of other possibilities. I just never saw the appeal. But now, I am beginning to wonder." His expression turned thoughtful as he looked at me.

"We have your Edward to thank for your that," he laughed.

"You see, I had your death all planned out. The video for Edward was going to be the crowing achievement. A vehicle to instill a vengeful fury in him- which I thought went excellent by the way. Very dramatic. Just the right amount of humiliation and pain to fuel the fire – but I realized something. There is more to this challenge than I originally thought."

"It's Bella, yes?" he questioned politely. I didn't answer.

"Answer me!" he screamed. I nodded, cringing. The sheer volume of his outburst made my ears ring.

"Tell me, Bella," his voice was sickeningly gentle again. "What is it about you that makes you so special?"

He tapped his finger on his lips as if in thought. I wasn't fooled. This was all a part of his performance. He had a speech to deliver to me and he clearly expected me to play along.

"Perhaps you are simply an amusement? Or does your Edward plan on turning you into an immortal for some hidden potential you possess?" he asked.

I couldn't trust myself to speak without sounding terrified, so I shook my head no.

"I don't mean to be so terribly intrusive. I'm genuinely curious. He clearly doesn't want you for a snack, and you say it's not for a hidden potential. What else could there be?"

He looked at me, and cocked an eyebrow - clearly waiting for a verbal response.

"He, he loves me." I managed to choke out.

"Then why does he not protect you, make you an immortal?" he asked in triumph.

"No," he continued, "If he loved you, as you say, he would have seen the obvious solution as others before him have."

I shook my head in denial, refusing to give in to his mind games.

"_The answer was there all along, and I was so afraid Edward would see that and ruin my fun. It only happened once, oh ages ago. The one and only time my prey escaped me." _He continued to tell me about a human who had been in an asylum- a human who had visions and was turned into a vampire to save her from death_. _

"Alice." I concluded, astonished.

"Yes." He affirmed wistfully. "The only one who ever escaped me. I supposed we can consider it a trade-off of sorts. I won't make that mistake again."

"But you- you have no hidden potential. He won't partake of your blood -which is quite delicious smelling by the way" he added conversationally, "and he won't turn you. The only conclusion I can make is that he simply desires your body."

My eyes widened. I definitely didn't like where this was headed. He took my reaction as confirmation.

"So he desires your body."

"No" I gasped.

His eyes flicked over me and I was acutely aware of just how much of my body he could see. I crossed my arms over my chest automatically. For once, thank heavens, I didn't blush.

"We haven't - I'm not. It's not like that." I stuttered. I had to keep talking, to figure a way out of this insanity.

"I think we should try a little experiment. Hmm?"

I froze in place. I couldn't fight my way out and I wasn't being very successful at talking my way out. I was at a loss for what to do. I didn't know what he wanted for this experiment, but I was sure I didn't want to find out.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

BPOV

James moved closer to me, crouching directly over my legs. I tried to scoot further away, but he had me backed into the corner.

"If you want to keep breathing, I suggest you hold very still." he said seriously.

He brought a piece of my hair up to his nose and smelled it. He seemed unimpressed, but still curious -always curious. He placed a hand on my shoulder, and the cold of his skin on my bare shoulder raised goose-bumps on my flesh. I shivered and he smirked.

"So warm." His hand trailed down my arm. "Surprisingly pleasant."

His running commentary and his gentle caresses sickened me. I could smell his sweet breath washing over my face. I wanted to vomit.

The thrill and excitement I felt when Edward touched me was absolutely not present. At least that nagging thought was finally put to rest- I wasn't attracted to Edward just because of his vampire allure.

Unfortunately, I finally understood the appropriate human response to vampires. I was scared senseless as every instinct in my body urged me to escape.

"I wonder why Edward isn't willing to turn you into an immortal?" he asked thoughtfully. "Odd, how he is willing to take advantage of your body but doesn't want your permanent company- don't you think?"

I knew he was trying to bait me, and what he was saying wasn't true. But his words still stung.

"I don't know many women that would put up with that." He arched an eyebrow at me – challenging me to disagree.

His fingers gripped forcefully around my hip. I gasped in pain from the pressure on already formed bruises. His eyes widened enjoying my pain. I vowed to stay silent, no matter what happened. He would not get that pleasure from me.

His hand dragged slowly across the skin of my stomach. My body shuddered in repulsion. He undid the button on my jeans with a vicious smile on his face. I fought back the urge to be sick. He purposefully paused, torturing me with his casual control over me.

"And I can't imagine what pleasure he could possibly derive from such a frail little thing. No offense of course, but as a human, you don't hold a fraction of the physical appeal of the options available within his own coven. And I've never met a vampire who _wanted_ to be gentle – who didn't like it rough."

He punctuated his point by fisting his hand into my hair. He pulled my head back roughly, hitting it against the wall. I saw stars in my vision from the impact. I gritted my teeth, determined to fight him in this small way.

He was trying to hurt me and I wouldn't let him win that easily. He didn't need to know that I agreed with him. I knew I wasn't worthy to be with such a perfect creature as Edward.

"Aren't you going to fight me, Bella?" he sneered. "I do so love a woman with some fire."

When I didn't respond, he pulled me up by my hair. I scrambled beneath him, trying to stand without the use of my broken leg.

Laughing he released me with a contemptuous snarl. I caught myself against the wall.

"Take off your pants," he commanded.

I looked at him, frozen in shock.

"Do it." he sneered.

"Go to hell." I wasn't going to help him rape me.

He laughed, pleased at my response. I realized he had been baiting me. He wanted me to fight back.

Reinvigorated, he pulled me against his body roughly, his hand fisting in my hair. His lips crashed into mine roughly. I held them closed as forcefully as I could, allowing the rest of my body to go limp.

Unsatisfied at my response, he shook me by the arms. I felt my neck strain with mild whiplash.

"Fine, you want to be passive?" he spat angrily. With a quick motion of his hands, he ripped my jeans from my body. They fell in tatters at my feet. He smiled hungrily at me.

He forced me down by my hair into a kneeling position. As he held me there, with one fist in my hair, he began to unbutton his own jeans. I realized with a horrible calmness, how he wanted to humiliate me.

I could live through this, I could live through anything if it meant seeing Edward again. _Be quiet. Be still. I can live through this_ - I chanted in my mind.

I felt numb. I was barely aware of my physical surroundings as my mind tried to protect itself. I felt like I was watching a movie as I hovered somewhere in the corner of the room away from the scared human shaking on the floor. I watched completely numb as he unzipped his pants and released himself into his free hand. He stroked along his length twice, preparing himself. My whole body shook as silent tears slipped from the corners of my eyes.

Another silhouette appeared suddenly in the doorway casting the us in shadow. The light shining from behind the new visitor kept her face hidden, but I could see hair flowing around her head in wild, red curls. The backlighting made it seem like dancing fire.

I blinked as the unexpected person's appearance shocked me back to awareness. The feeling returned to my limbs as I peered through the dark to see what was happening.

A female voice hissed loudly.

"Not now, Victoria." James growled.

Her response was too quick and low for me to hear. Whatever she said, she was definitely angry. James growled with annoyance, but seemed resigned. He released his hold on me. I collapsed to the ground. I willed myself into not breaking down in front of him.

He zipped his jeans up before he gripped my face almost gently. His thumb and forefinger turned my head to the left and then right, examining me. I could tell he was being careful, using barely any of his real strength, but his grip was still too tight. I would have bruises where his fingers touched me.

"I guess this will have to wait for another time then, my dear Bella."

He puckered my lips with a squeeze of his hand and kissed me quickly. Claiming his dominance over me. He released my chin and rose from the floor in one lithe movement. He stalked toward Victoria, pausing just before he reached the doorway.

"Oh, before I go. I do have something to share with you. Your Edward should be on his way now. In case he decides to take rash action before we have a chance to talk, I wanted to let you know that this room is equipped with a bit of a security system. If he tries to take you out of here-through the door, or otherwise-" he motioned to the walls, "you, unfortunately, will not survive the giant electric shock that would be the result. You might want to tell him if you get the chance."

He turned and walked down the hall, sliding past Victoria. She remained staring into the room for another second before she hissed at me and slammed the door behind her.

The deafening bang submerged me into darkness and I finally allowed myself to break down sobbing.

I thought of Edward and his gentle touches. How could I doubt for even a second that he loved me? A terrible pain exploded in my stomach. The shock of the situation and the ache of missing Edward became too much and I succumbed to unconsciousness.


	5. Chapter 5

chapter 5

BPOV

I prayed that Edward would find me before James returned. I could only hope that Victoria's anger would keep James away from me.I held on to the hope that my family would find me. I imagined, over and over, Edward bursting through the door to save me. Even as the hours passed and no one came, I refused to consider any other possibilities.

I sat in the corner of the metal room all cried out and alone. I resolved that no more tears would be shed. It was time to do something for myself. I couldn't wait around for forces beyond my control to rescue me, I needed a plan. I just needed something to bargain with. Some way to make James lose interest in me. I didn't trust that Victoria was on my side but it sounded like we were on the same page about James. I thought back to her confusing visit.

_I cringed when the door opened again, not ready to face my fate. Please just let this be quick, I prayed in my mind. I was relieved when I realized it was Victoria standing in the doorway, until I got a good look at her face. She entered the room and closed the door behind her. It took a few terrifying minutes for my eyes to adjust back to the darkness before I could see her. She was pacing back and forth in front of me. Her face was a dark cloud of fury. _

"_For such an insignificant creature, you have become quite the problem" she hissed at me. _

_I remained quite. I had no idea how to respond to that. She continued to pace angrily across the tiny room. Four large steps, turn, four steps back. _

"_Obviously, he's only interested in you as a curiosity. I shouldn't care because it's not even lust. __**'Just curiosity',**__" she mimicked._

_She was talking rapidly to herself as she paced back and forth. I had to strain to understand her words.__She stopped suddenly and turned toward me. Her eyes swept over me as her mouth turned down in disgust. _

_"Just curiosity" she repeated to herself. She seemed to make a decision. _

"_Here's the deal, __**Bella**__." She sneered my name. "I have a really bad feeling about this whole situation. It's not good, but James won't listen. This isn't simple anymore.__ The only solution is that you need to stop making James curious." She concluded. _

_I would be happy to do just that. It's not like I wanted his attentions. _

"_I see two options, you die or you leave. I'd personally be happy to kill you myself, but James would not be happy about that. So you're going to leave. Got it?" Her eyes were fierce. _

_My head was spinning. She was talking about killing me, but now she wanted me to leave? Was she going to let me go?_

"_When it's time, you're going to leave and we'll leave and that's it. No harm done. They won't have any reason for retribution."_

_She rambled nervously and was clearly scared. She stopped pacing and turned to me suddenly. Surprised, I pushed back into the wall wanting a little more distance between us._

"_Do you agree?" she leaned over me and hissed in my face. _

_I had no idea what I was supposed to be agreeing to or what she was planning. It sounded like she wanted me alive though._

"_Yes," I whispered, hoping that was the right answer._

"_Good. Then we have an understanding. You-" She jabbed a finger in the air in front of my face, "will stop making James curious and I will allow you to leave, alive. We're all happy." _

_She turned and stalked out of the room as unexpectedly as she had come._

Although I wanted to let the hope flair, I knew I couldn't count on her to be my salvation. But perhaps there was something in the relationship between him and Victoria that I could use…

As I sat devising my own plans for rescue, I was startled by the loud, reverberating bang of the door being thrown open violently. I recoiled at the noise. Apparently my time was up. Unfortunately, I was nowhere near to a plan.

"Bella!" The most beautiful and welcome voice in the world shouted my name.

I looked up to see the familiar form of my beloved in the doorway. He paused there, his body tensed for just a moment. Though it was only the length of a heartbeat, the intensity of the moment hung thick in the air. I could feel the tension of our combined desperation, the longing and the sweetness of our reunion.

"Edward," I sobbed in sheer relief.

The trance was broken. Faster than I could blink, he was in front of me. He lifted me into his arms, cradling me to his chest.

The door slammed shut behind him with a loud bang. The distinct clicking noise of the lock engaging was even louder in my mind. We both flinched at the unexpected noise as we returned into darkness. I realized with a numb disinterest that we were locked in

Edward held me gently but firmly against his body as he knelt to the floor. He rocked us both back and forth in his strong embrace.

"I am so sorry. God, I am sorry. I'm supposed to protect you, and I failed you." he was anguished. "You're broken and bleeding and... Oh Bella," he cried, burying his face into my hair. We held each other and he rocked us until his cries quieted.

"I'm going to kill him."

I could see that his face was contorted anger. I realized suddenly that Edward had seen the video James made. I didn't know what to say first, but thankfully Edward broke the silence.

"Let me make sure you're okay first. I'll have to set you down."

He settled me as gently as he could on the ground. I inhaled sharply in pain. His hands and eyes scanned my body, noting injuries. When his hand touched my head, I saw stars. He inhaled sharply through his teeth, making a hissing noise.

"Bella?" he questioned, looking into my eyes pleadingly. "Please. Say something -anything. I need to hear your voice. Even if it is just to tell me what a monster I am for not protecting you." he was worried and nearly frantic.

His eyes tracked back and forth across my face, looking for a sign of something. I didn't realize I hadn't said anything. I was if I was afraid to break the moment and discover I was dreaming after all.

"Edward" I whispered reverently. I couldn't say anything as I broke down into sobs of relief. I clung to him with every ounce of strength I had. He moved me back into the comfort of his lap, cradling me tenderly. I knew this wasn't over yet, not by a long shot. But I knew that with Edward here I would be okay. I _would_ survive this. My body trembled with the silent sobs.

"Oh Bella, love. Shh, I'm here, now. I'm here."

After a while, he leaned back from me as he quickly unbuttoned and removed his shirt. He eased his shirt over my shoulders gently buttoning it closed around me. He held me against his now bare chest.

"Don't worry Bella, It's going to be okay. I'm going to get you out of here."

His jaw set in a firm line, determined. He rose to his feet with me still in his arms. He turned toward the closed metal door and I realized that he was planning on busting the door down.

"Wait!" I exclaimed.

"What's wrong? Where does it hurt?" he immediately responded.

"The room has an electric security system that will kill me if I try to leave." I blurted.

He stared at me blankly for a millisecond before his head snapped to the door. He cocked his head to the side slightly as if listening. I held my breath trying to hear whatever he was listening to. I didn't hear anything, just a heavy silence. Whatever he heard convinced him that it was true.

He cursed under his breath.

"I'm sorry, love." He lowered us back to the ground, still holding me against him.

With my broken body nestled against his- supporting me, he pulled out his cell phone. It glowed brightly in the dark room. I could clearly see that there was no reception on the phone. Neither of us mentioned the obvious as he set it on the floor beside us. The illumination provided enough additional light that I could see his face clearly.

"I'll figure something out. Alice may have seen something that will lead them here."

"Why didn't Alice come with you?" A look of remorse crossed his features. I knew it wouldn't be the last I saw of that emotion.

He explained to me about his finding me missing at the airport- he shot a quick exasperated look at me during that part. He continued on to their mad dash to the ballet studio and finding James's video. His face darkened and his voice was barely above a growl as he quickly told me about finding the video. He didn't talk about the content of the tape, but his face told me all I needed to know about his reaction.

He told me of James's demand that he come alone, then the multiple locations James led him to ensuring no one followed him and finally finding me here. I learned that because of James's plans, no one else in the family was coming for us. They didn't know where we were. There were no accusations, no should-haves or what-ifs spoken between us. It was not the time to blame. He was clearly taking on enough blame for the both of us, despite my starring role in royally screwing things up.

"It's okay, we're together now. I don't care where I am as long as you're here too." I tried to comfort him.

I really did want to get out of here, and I suspected that I needed some pretty serious medical attention. But I couldn't complain now that my personal savior was here with me. The situation was a million times better than it had been.

We sat in silence, staring into each other's eyes. He continuously touched and kissed me. His hand gently stroked various un-bruised parts of my face or arms. It was as if he needed reassurance that I was still here, alive. I traced his face and bare shoulders with my fingers, waiting for whatever drama would unfold next. As long as we were together, I would die happy. Perhaps literally.


	6. Chapter 6

Ch 6

BPOV

We sat in the dark in a reverent silence, soaking in the reality that we were together. There had been a very real possibility that I would not see Edward again, and I was thankful beyond words for his strong presence.

I took the opportunity to soak in the devastatingly handsome face in front of me. It was perfect, as usual. His expression was the only give-away that he wasn't a perfectly carved statue of Adonis. I don't think any Greek statue ever wore an expression so frustrated.

I could tell his mind was working overtime to figure a way to get me out of here without killing me. I allowed my eyes to drift from his face to his bare chest. It was rare that I saw it, and it was a welcome distraction.

Despite the reasons behind why his shirt was wrapped around me instead on him, I enjoyed the opportunity to enjoy his perfect musculature. I tried not to ogle him as I traced my fingers over his face, shoulders and chest.

I reveled in his light touches and kisses as we waited for fate to catch up with us.

An unwelcome voice interrupted our reunion. Startled, I looked for the source, and realized it was coming from a small speaker in the wall.

"What a lovely reunion." James smooth voice mocked over the speaker. Edward growled loudly in response. I automatically cringed into Edward's chest. That voice would forever haunt my dreams.

"Now, now, Edward. There's no need to be uncivil." he scolded.

I assume," he continued "that our dear Bella has told you about the electric security barrier or you would have tried to break down the walls already."

Edward physically stiffened at James' use of the words 'our Bella'. Apparently he didn't like the shared possessive any more than I did.

"I should also add, that although the electric current it is lethal for Bella, it is also enough to knock you to your knees. It's a surprisingly unpleasant sensation. It will incapacitate even an immortal for several seconds."

My brain went into overdrive as I realized the danger Edward had been placed in while attempting to rescue me. We truly were prisoners.

"I would like to take a moment if I can, to brag just a little. Your coven presented a fantastic challenge. A group of strong vampires, hell-bent on protecting their weakest member. A very difficult puzzle- and I think we have proved who triumphed there– don't you?" he gloated.

I buried my faced in Edward's chest as the diatribe continued. I wanted to never hear that voice again.

"That's really why we're still here. It was all just a little too easy. All I had to do was find the right leverage- an obvious one presented itself in Bella's mother and she came all too willingly. A willing lamb to the slaughter." he laughed and Edward glared at the wall.

I placed my hand on his bare chest over his heart in what I hoped was a comforting gesture. It wasn't his fault I chose to trick Alice and Jasper and run willingly to this psychopath. This whole thing was my fault, not his. Edward placed his hand over mine as we continued to listen. His angry stare didn't lessen.

"I must admit that my curiosity was piqued about your relationship. I discovered that there is a certain _appeal _to a physical relationship with a human. At first I was completely repulsed but the idea, but she does smell quite delicious- especially when she's terrified. And her body is so soft and _warm_. Don't you think, Edward?"

Edward growled threateningly.

"Really, it was quite pleasant to partake of such a delicious morsel. When I touched her soft body and felt her trembling beneath me… "

He was clearly baiting Edward with insinuations. His eyes were tortured as they searched my face. It was as if he was evaluating for the first time what exactly had happened to me. He looked horrified. His eyes flicked to my tattered jeans lying in pieces on the ground.

I buried my face in his hands, ashamed he would reveal the humiliating details. James continued his taunting words- describing his pleasure in touching me and tasting my flesh. I wanted to throw up and rip off my own ears.

Edward gently placed his finger under my chin and raised my face until our eyes met. He didn't say a word, but his expression said it all. His eyes were haunted and questioning. I could see his anger for not protecting me as well. It was all there in his beautiful, tortured eyes.

He silently questioned me. I shook my head, relieved that his vile actions had only been allowed to progress so far.

"Victoria was jealous. She stopped him," I whispered. He had threatened and certainly been closer to it than either of us would have liked, but I had been spared for the most part. If possible, I vowed that I would never let Edward discover how close it had come. He exhaled in relief and pulled me closer to his chest, tucking my head under his chin.

The near silent exchange, his question and my reassurance, happened all during James' taunting. I refocused on his words as he finally moved on to his ultimate point.

"I have decided on a different challenge. An experiment if you will. Apparently, this naive child believes you are in love with her. She refuses the truth that you are simply taking pleasure in her soft little body." he scoffed.

"Despite being unwilling to turn her into your equal and give her immortality- she believes you love her."

Edward held me closer and kissed the top of my head as if to counter James' hurtful words.

"So I'm exploring the truth of the situation. You have a choice. One of you can leave here alive, the other will not." He paused for dramatic effect.

"Edward, if you choose to leave Bella here, behind, you can leave at any time."

When Edward didn't jump at the opportunity, he changed tactics.

"Bella," he addressed me directly for the first time and I flinched.

"If you speak up first, you can go. But Edward will stay here. The privilege will go to whoever speaks first." He paused as if expecting an immediate response.

"This is your last chance, Edward. It's time to choose if you get to live another day," he taunted.

"You can do whatever you want with me, just let her go." Edward responded.

"No – Edward." I whispered.

"Ahh, but that isn't one of the options," he responded over the speaker. "You can choose your freedom or Bella chooses hers, no self-sacrificing gestures allowed here."

"That's never going to happen." Edward stated.

"And how long do you think that will last?" James questioned. "I know you can go without food for what, a few weeks? But what about poor Bella- What of her needs? She can go maybe four days without food or water – "

"But she's not in such good shape right now, is she?" He tisked at Edward as if it was his fault.

"That doesn't give you a lot of time, does it? If you speak up now, at least one of you will survive this."

There was a long moment of silence between us. Edward slowly turned his gaze back to me. I saw it written in his face before he even opened his mouth. He was going be self-sacrificing on me. I wouldn't allow it.

"Bella." Edward pleaded. "Love, tell him you want to leave."

James laughed darkly, enjoying his game.

I shook my head. I was not leaving him.

"Please. Do it for me- It's okay, I'll be fine. But he's right, you need medical attention." He tried to reason with me.

"No" I gasped. "I won't do it. I won't leave you here."

He ran a hand roughly through his hair in frustration. We stared at eachother in silence. Each refusing to give up the other.

"I will be back in one hour for your choice." James spat angrily over the sound system.

The speaker clicked off and we were left in silence. My mind was reeling.

"Bella?" Edward gently broke the silence. "Love, I think I have a plan, But I'm going to need you to stay here without me– just for a few minutes."

I shook my head, emphatically. I didn't want to be separated from him.

"I have to get you out of this room, but that means that first I have to deal with James." He pleaded with me softly. "Once that's done, we can deactivate the electric barrier and get you out of here safely."

"But, you heard what he said, the electricity can hurt you too." I whispered.

"I don't know if that's true or not. There's only one way to find out." His jaw was set firm as he looked toward the door.

I wasn't sure what to do. His plan made sense if James had been lying. But what if he wasn't lying? I didn't want Edward to be hurt. And if Edward did make it through, he'd have to leave me here. Alone.

"Edward, I don't know if that's a good idea- what if you're hurt? What if he - he comes, and you can't stop him…and he -" I couldn't string the words together in a coherent fashion to express all the concerns I had.

"Shh, love. It will be okay. I've never heard of anything man-made that could incapacitate a vampire."

He gave me a quick, confident smile.

"But, if it is true, it should only be for a second or so. It will be okay."

He looked at me waiting for my understanding and approval. I wracked my brain for another option. Clearly neither of us was willing to leave the other behind.

If it was a lie and there was no effect on him- Edward could save us. I would just have to handle being alone again for a short time if it meant rescue. If the shock did hurt Edward, James said it would only last a second or so. Just a second that he would be in pain. I made up my mind and nodded slightly in approval. Edward kissed me on the lips gently.

"I'll be right back." he said.

He placed me on the floor gently and rose to his feet. I scooted carefully to the middle of the room to insure I wasn't touching any of the walls. His face was set in a determined expression. He strode toward the door and placed one hand against it. No electric shock yet.

He pushed hesitantly against the door –testing it. The metal groaned as it shifted slightly – I could see a sliver of light come through the seams around the door. I tensed, waiting for disaster. He looked over his shoulder at me with a triumphant smile on his face. He placed both hands against the door and pushed. It screeched in protest.

I felt a sudden thickness in the air. The hair on my arms stood on end with the new pressure. There wasn't even time to yell out.

I watched Edward's back in horror as his entire body clenched, every muscle contracted tightly. Without his shirt on I could see the muscles clearly as they tensed and rippled. It was horrifying to watch. His body seemed frozen in place for a long second, his arms still extended to the door. He didn't make a single sound as his knees buckled and he crumpled to the floor – unconscious.

"Edward!" I screamed . I crawled over to him, ignoring the pain in my broken bones. "No!"

He didn't respond.


	7. Chapter 7

chapter 7

"Edward!" I screamed.

There was still no response. He lay near the door, eerily still, his eyes closed. Without a pulse or breath to gauge him by, I didn't know what to do. I grabbed his shoulders and shook him. The only result was his body moving slightly.

I was terrified. In contrast, his face was peaceful, completely relaxed. As if he was merely asleep. He was more achingly beautiful than I could have imagined. With the release all the tension, stress, and self loathing he carried he was like an angel fallen from heaven. My own personal angel.

I gave up on shaking him and stroked his face, repeating his name over and over. I felt more helpless in the moment than ever before in my life. How was I supposed to know if he was okay? There was no way to tell what was happening to him. He didn't look like he was in pain at least.

I sat, lifting his head and shoulders into my lap. I cradled him as he had done to me so many times. I rocked spastically, trying to comfort myself or him – I wasn't sure which.

"Wake up, love. Please. Wake up. Edward. Please, please be okay."

I whispered my desperate words over and over. All I could do was wait and hope that he would be okay.

I was so worried about Edward, I didn't think about the possibility that we might have company soon. The door opened suddenly with a loud shrieking. Edward's efforts had certainly twisted the door out of place. The sound was not pleasant, and the new visitors were even less welcome.

James appeared in the doorway with an amused smile across his face. He stepped into the room and smirked down at me. Behind him Victoria stepped into the room. She hissed at me.

James took in Edward's unconscious body then turned his gaze back to the bent door frame. He let out an amused laugh, tisking as he walked farther into the room .

Victoria lunged at me and before I could blink, she backhanded me across the face. I slammed into the ground beside Edward. Victoria stood over me, furious.

James' expression turned from amused to annoyed as he pulled Victoria away from me. I scrambled, trying to reach Edward. James casually kicked Edward's body away from us, toward Victoria.

"Take your aggression out on him," he said over his shoulder. Victoria smiled viscously.

"No!" I screamed, desperate to protect him.

James yanked me upward by my arm. I felt my shoulder dislocate with a pop and I gasped in pain. I was forced to watch as Victoria kicked Edward in the stomach repeatedly. His body moved with each impact, the thuds of her blows ringing painful in my ears.

"Stop!"

I screamed, fighting uselessly against James' hold. I stood lamely, supported by James painful grip on my upper arm as I struggled to reach Edward. James pulled me backward until I was again in the corner furthest from the door and even further away from Edward.

Some of her aggression burned off, Victoria paused in her assault on Edward. She looked to James for direction.

"Leave him alone!" I demanded frantically.

"He'll be fine." James assured me dismissively.

"He's out cold," Victoria said surprised.

Her normal voice was high and girly. It didn't fit her looks. She looked at Edward with curiosity. I guessed she'd never seen a vampire rendered unconscious before.

"Well, I may have under stated things a bit. He'll be back with us soon."

I didn't know what to do. Edward was helpless and I was worse than useless. My head was spinning from the various sources of pain demanding my attention.

"This is your chance, Bella. All you have to do is say the word." James offered suddenly.

I shook my head, never tearing my eyes from Edward.

"Is someone who won't allow you to be his equal – someone who won't even grant you the same immortality he can give so easily- Is he worth dying for?" he nodded to Edward laying on the ground.

"I won't leave him." I said with conviction. "I love him, and he _does_ love me no matter your sick games or what you say!"

"We'll see what his choices are when it comes down to it," he taunted.

"You don't know the first thing about us." I countered angrily.

I was probably being stupid by provoking him. My head was still spinning too much to be thinking straight.

"Ahh, yes. That does remind me. Your 'relationship'…." He trailed off thoughtfully.

I recognized that tone of voice. There I went again, accidentally turning his curiosity back to our physical relationship. He spun us around so my back was against his chest and we were both facing Victoria and Edward.

Edward remained unmoving on the floor while Victoria glared daggers at me. Apparently she also recognized James' tone. She wasn't pleased either.

James lowered his face into my hair and inhaled deeply. He gave a soft growl. I couldn't contain the shiver of fear that ran down my spine. He leaned down to whisper in my ear. I automatically tried to move away but his hands held me firmly in place.

"Whatever way this turns out, I will taste of your body and your blood." He promised quietly in my ear. His sickly sweet breath fanned across my face. I felt him smile against my skin in response.

"I would think he would be awake by now," Victoria interrupted harshly.

Her eyes were dangerous slits. James laughed at her obvious jealousy.

"Would you do the honors?" he asked her. He motioned casually to Edward.

I watched as she crouched over Edward's unconscious body. She stood over him for a moment deliberating. Suddenly she dropped one knee roughly into his stomach, pinning him to the ground. He groaned at the impact.

"Edward!"

Victoria smiled up at me. It was a malicious smile. I twisted in James' grasp as he pinned both my arms behind my back, holding me in place. My shoulder throbbed in time with my broken leg.

Victoria's hand moved so fast it was a blur. I heard the sound before I registered what had happened. She struck Edward hard across the face. The sound was like thunder cracking. His head rolled loosely to the side, but he didn't open his eyes. She backhanded him across the other cheek and his head hit the ground again with a another crack.

"Stop it! Stop – leave him alone!" I screamed.

I struggled violently against James hold. He laughed softly in my ear. She raised her arm to hit Edward again. A blur of movement accompanied the sound of his beautiful, angry growl. He grabbed her arm at the wrist, holding her in place.

"Stop. Doing. That." Edward ground out through his teeth.

She remained crouched over him, her knee pinning him to the ground. Her left hand pinned his shoulder down. He gripped her forearm defensively. He held her right arm in a tense stalemate above his face. Their faces were tight, fighting against the other's strength for the advantage.

I struggled against James hold, panting. Edward snapped his head toward us.

"Bella," he whispered, terrified.

"Welcome back Edward." James crooned. "Before you do anything rash, I'm sure you've noticed that Bella and I are quite cozy over here."

James shifted, pinning my arms behind against his chest. I gasped in pain as my dislocated shoulder was forced to rotate. His arm slid around my waist, gripping me tightly. He used his other hand to stroked from my face to my neck. I cringed away from his touch.

Edward snarled angrily. The sound filled the room and made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. He was extremely pissed off. James laughed as he got his desired response. He moved his hand to the front of my neck and applied a slight amount of pressure. I choked a little as the pressure increased against my wind pipe.

"I wouldn't make any sudden movements. Just a twitch from you and I will snap her neck." James threatened.

Edward glared at James, but nodded once in acknowledgement. He remained unnaturally still, careful not to provoke James.

Victoria yanked her wrist free of Edward's grasp. His hand remained frozen in the air for a second before he lowered it slowly to the ground. She smacked him hard across the face. He was knocked down to the floor. He didn't try to fight back, nor did he even look at her as he raised himself to a sitting position. His eyes were locked on James.

James released me except for the grip on my neck. I gasped shallowly for air. Edward's eyes were glued to us even. Victoria backed away toward the door. She stood in a tense crouch behind Edward's back.

"Don't touch her!" Edward snarled at him, reading some decision in his thoughts.

"Nuh-uh, Edward. Don't make me hurt her," James scolded.

His grip tightened and I literally choked against the pressure on my windpipe making a gurgling noise. My working hand clawed ineffectually against his grip.

James' free hand traveled from my shoulder and across my collar bone. His hand continued lower, slipping into the top of my shirt. I struggled in vain as he grabbed me roughly, squeezing my breast painfully.

"There will be plenty of time for you to squirm later, sweetheart," James purred in my ear, clearly enjoying torturing both Edward and I at the same time.

Edward roared in fury and frustration. His anger drowned out the sound of Victoria's snarl. I was the only one who didn't miss her murderous expression, now focused on James.

And suddenly- I knew what I had to do. I knew that I would give up anything to be with Edward. I'd give up my own life to save him. A tentative plan formed in my head. I'd do anything to protect him. Even piss off a crazy vampire.

"She was going to betray you." I gasped, using the last of my air.

The statement had the desired effect. James loosened his hold around my neck and fresh oxygen poured into my lungs. I looked directly into Victoria's eyes, challenging her. I couldn't see James's reaction, but Victoria's eyes were wide, flicking from him to me.

"What!" She hissed.

"She told me that you were being too reckless. That you had gone too far this time, risking her safety for your curiosity. She told Edward where to find me in exchange for her safety."

James' grip tightened on my numb arms in his anger. I chose my words from her own, making my lies sound like truths.

"Victoria?" James questioned. His voice was angry.

"It's not true," she answered frantically. "She lies!"

Her eyes darted from me to James and back again. Her desperation made her sound untruthful.

Edward's eyes remained locked on mine as Victoria and James argued. He nodded to me just slightly, encouraging me. I pushed for more, hoping to feed the flames of mistrust. My mind raced, remembering Victoria's words to me and thinking of how to twist them against her.

"She said she tried to convince you to kill me, but you refused. That it was the last time you would risk her life for your curiosity."

"Liar!" She screamed at me.

I knew immediately that I had secured the final nail in the coffin. James roared at Victoria in rage. She snarled and dashed out the door. He stood frozen for a second debating whether to chase her or deal with me. He took a step toward the door, dragging me with him. Edward moved to block him from leaving with me.

We stood in a tense and silent confrontation.

The silence was interrupted by a loud bang from the hallway. I jumped in surprise.

James' head snapped to the doorway. He tensed and took a step backward. He still held on to me tightly and I was dragged off-balance with him.

I heard banging and growling from the hallway but I couldn't tell what was going on.

I couldn't see James' reaction behind me, but his body was tense. His hold tightened around my neck. It was becoming more and more difficult to breathe in his strong grasp. Edward's eyes never left James.

"No!" I heard Victoria scream. I heard snarls and the loud screeches of metal and rock. Silence fell suddenly and Edward smiled viscously at James.

All at once several people burst into the little room. Edward took the opportunity to lunge at James.

"Wait!" I heard Alice scream. The hand around my neck released and I dragged in a glorious breath of air.

It all happened in less than the amount of time it took me to blink. I realized that the new comers were the Cullens. Alice was the one who had screamed. I felt relieved that they were here to help us until I got a look at her expression. She stared at me – horrified.

Edward froze mid-step just a few feet away with his own horrified, pitch black eyes. James' lips were kissing my neck. That seemed odd to me. It was then that the pain registered in my brain. A blazing, burning pain on my neck. I could see a thin red line of blood dripping down the front of my shoulder and soaking into the white fabric of Edward's shirt. It took me a second to realize that he bit me and was drinking my blood.

I blinked in surprise. Edward and Alice both lunged for me and then I was flying through the air.

I landed with a hard thud against the ground and slid on my back until I hit the opposite wall. The air rushed from my lungs from the impact. My vision went black around the edges. The darkness began to enclose me. I stared up at the ceiling in shock.

I blinked and Edward's beautiful but frantic face filled my vision. I smiled.

"Carlisle!" he yelled over his shoulder.

There was a cacophony of noise in the room. Furious growls echoed off the walls and the sound of metal screeching against metal. I heard a high pitched keening noise which cut off suddenly. The room was strangely quiet after that. I could only hear my raspy breathing, heavy and ringing in my ears.

"Edward. Edward?"

I questioned- I couldn't see him anymore. I wanted to see him.

"I'm right here love. I'm here."

I felt him place my hand in his. His hands ran over me, comforting and reassuring.

"Edward, he bit me." I stated, numb.

There was no response, just a strangled noise from Edward.

"Edward, it hurts." I cried.

"Carlisle. Help her," he pleaded desperately.

"I'm doing the best I can," Carlisle's voice stated calmly. "She's lost a lot of blood and with the other injuries she's sustained …" he trailed off.

"You have to do something." Edward demanded.

I was feeling fainter by the second. The burning in my neck was matched by a twin burn in my hand. I lifted it over my face, surprised to see another bite mark on my hand. Blood dripped from the wound, splashing my face. My entire body was suddenly consumed by fire. It was more pain than my body could handle and I felt the pull of unconsciousness tugging at my mind.

I fought to keep my eyes open, to see Edward's face for as long as possible. But the fire took my eyes from me and I lost sight of my own personal angel.

"Bella! No, don't leave me!" I heard the angel call me as if from a great distance. I couldn't hold on. I gave myself over to the dark seeking a shelter from the fire.

I heard screaming and realized it was me.


	8. Chapter 8

chapter 8

"_Edward."_ Carlisle thought to me. My eyes met his. "_There is a chance. If you leave the venom in, she will be one of us in three days." _

I shook my head. I would not damn her to this life.

"What do you mean _**if**_?" I whispered.

I looked down at Bella lying in my arms. Her eyes were fluttering, fighting to remain open.

"_There is another way."_

He paused, gauging my response. I nodded encouragingly. Any other option- anything.

"_You could suck the venom out. It's not too late. It hasn't spread too far." _He suggested carefully.

"Carlisle" I breathed, astonished. "I - I don't know if I can. I'm not strong enough …"

Bella moaned in pain and I returned my attention back to her. Her eyes rolled back into her head and she passed out. Her entire body went limp in my arms.

"Bella! No, don't leave me!" I yelled.

I had no choice. I would not let her die and I couldn't damn her to this life if there was another option. I looked down at her limp body and knew what I had to do. I could be strong enough for her.

"I can do this," I whispered fervently.

I dragged in a burning breath, flavored with the scent of Bella's blood. I said a silent prayer to a God I had long thought abandoned me as I lowered my lips to her neck. I needed a miracle.

I pushed down the monster that was roaring in anticipation. I would not fail. It was simply not an option. I focused on the humanity Bella had brought back into my life. I was not that monster. I could control my actions.

I placed my mouth over the bite mark on her neck. I could briefly taste James' scent before the taste of her blood overwhelmed everything else.

_Everything_ was completely forgotten. I couldn't hear the thoughts of my family. I couldn't hear my own thoughts – hell, I didn't remember my own name. The taste, oh the taste. It was everything I imagined it would be and so much more.

I gulped it down greedily. Once, twice – again. More. I needed more. I had wanted it for so long, I needed it – and it was mine. I reveled in her blood. The monster was loose the instant her delicious blood touched my tongue. He was in full control as I greedily drank.

Distantly in the back of my mind, I heard a small voice. It was quiet and I wanted to ignore it, but it was insistent. As I recognized the presence of something other than blood, the insistent voice of the human part of me became louder. The part that loved Bella was pleading for my control – reminding, no demanding, that I remember my love for her, reminding me of her beautiful soul.

'Bella, Bella, Bella' the voice chanted. Flashes of her ran through my mind - her face, her smile, the flash of intuition in her eyes, her chocolate hair and ivory skin. I saw her biting her lip, I saw her beautiful face filled with love and trust. The love was for me. The trust was in me.

I knew if I kept going she would die. If I didn't stop drinking now, she wouldn't make it. I knew it with certainty and the monster didn't care.

The insistent voice brought me back to the present and I became aware of my surroundings once again. My mouth remained at Bella's neck greedily feeding from her. I commanded just enough will power to pause.

I imagined her lying on the ground, broken and still. I knew she would remain like this if I couldn't stop myself.

The room was silent, but I could feel all the eyes of my family on me.

I opened my eyes. Carlisle's worried golden ones locked with mine. Alice's hand was gripping my shoulder, trying to bring me back to the present. With a tremendous effort, I released Bella's neck and swallowed the blood that was in my mouth.

I placed her hand in my lap tenderly. The monster roared in frustration while the humanity inside of me exalted- I was spent.

The tense and silent room seemed to sigh in relief. Every member of my family had been frozen in anticipation. I could hear their relieved thoughts. They thought I had been successful - that I had showed such strength. They didn't know how close it had come. I swallowed again, trying to get myself under control enough to speak.

I looked down at Bella, still seemingly lifeless except her steady but weak heartbeat. After a long moment, when I felt I could control myself enough to speak I addressed Carlisle.

"I can still taste the venom."

I was surprised at how calm I sounded.

The relief that had been in the room a second before returned to shock. Carlisle and I locked gazes in unspoken acknowledgement. No words were exchanged as I pleaded with him to save her – his eyes didn't look hopeful.

He checked her vitals. Her heart beat was faint.

"Edward- " he said carefully.

"No!" I interrupted. "No! Do something. Damn it!" I yelled at him, reinvigorated.

He shook his head slightly. There was nothing he could do.

I pleaded with him against what I knew to be true. "I can- I can still suck out the venom. I didn't take enough before."

"Edward, she's lost a lot of blood. I don't know if she can sustain more blood loss and make it out of this."

"What are you saying?" I demanded.

"In order to get the venom out you would have to take more blood than she can stand to lose. It will kill her before she even has a chance to make it through the transformation. Her heart has to keep beating to pump the venom through her body. If you take more blood, I'm afraid her heart will give out. I just don't know how much more her body can take."

He was right she had sustained a lot of injuries. And she had just lost so much blood to my thirst. If she lost more -

"No," I sobbed over her. Unwilling to accept the truth.

After everything that we had gone through- after all that, she was going to be damned to this life. She didn't even get a choice, a chance to live. I had doomed her to this life just by loving her. I was truly a monster.

My love was toxic. And now she would be one of us. My angel had been damned, by me the monster.

"Is there no other way?"

I raised my eyes up to Carlisle without hope. His face was full of sorrow and compassion. He knew my pain and he carried it too.

"I'm sorry, son."

I thought this moment couldn't get any worse. I was working my mind through the situation – the horror that Bella would surely feel when she awoke as one of the living dead - when everything fell apart.

Bella's heart suddenly accelerated. The beats came out hard and too fast. Her eyes flew open and she gasped for air, her back arching off the floor. Her wide eyes met mine before she screamed in pain. She collapsed back to the floor. Her heart was completely still-it had stopped beating.

"Bella!" I yelled shaking her gently.

She wasn't breathing and her heart wasn't beating. The stress on her body had become too much. Carlisle moved the fastest and began CPR. He pushed on her chest with his hands and tilted her head back to open her airway.

I listened, frozen in place, as he ran through all the possible treatments in his mind. We had to restart her heart, but he had no way to do so. His thoughts filled with the odds of survival weighed against the time it would take us to get her to a hospital- they weren't good. Every second counted against her.

I took in his thoughts and realized that Bella was not going to make it out of this alive. I had thought the worse had happened when her only choice was the transformation. I now realized in this moment that there were things that were far, far worse. I couldn't live without her.

My mind raced through options.

I jumped to my feet and ran out of the room. I heard the shock and disbelief of my family's thoughts. Most were simply confused. Rosalie's thoughts were the most vicious and surprisingly protective of Bella. She thought I was abandoning Bella because I was weak. I didn't have the time to explain anything as I ran as fast as I could through the building. Alice's vision came two both of us as I ran away from the one thing in this life that meant the most to me.

"_It's going to work Edward- but hurry!"_ she thought to me.

"Everyone move away from the walls." She ordered aloud.

I ran past the smoldering pile of ash that had been James and Victoria as I raced to the control room. James's stench filled the room. I quickly scanned the room and adjusted a few controls. Less than a second after entering, I had reactivated the electrical security system.

I raced back to the room – moving faster than I had ever before. Four seconds total before I reached Bella, my life. Carlisle was still administering CPR to Bella. His motions were the only thing keeping her heart pumping. The rest of my was gathered in the center of the room, looking at me with extreme confusion..

I pushed Carlisle away from Bella and grabbed her up into my arms. Carlisle stepped back into Esme's arms. He had no idea what was going on and his eyes were full of questions, but he wasted no time on them. He trusted me completely.

I took two quick strides to the nearest wall, praying my years studying human medicine had not lead me to miscalculate. With Bella still in my arms and punched a hole through the steel wall.

I felt the shock course through my body immediately. All my muscles clenched violently from the force once again and I dropped to my knees. My arm ripped free of the wall and the current released its hold on me.

I placed Bella on the floor and heard the most beautiful sound in my entire existence– the strong beat of her heart, before I slipped into unconsciousness.


	9. Chapter 9

**Ch 10**

**EPOV**

I came back to awareness very suddenly and opened my eyes. I was lying on the floor of an unfamiliar room. Soft carpet tickled the skin on the back of my neck. I inhaled, the scent of Bella burning reassuringly down my throat.

I stood quickly, relieved when I saw Bella lying on a small twin bed. She had been cleaned and changed into a new set of clothes. The wounds inflicted to her body had already healed. I could still see the faintest outline of teeth marring her neck and hand. James had not been gentle and the scars were ragged.

Carlisle sat next to her on a wooden chair. He looked up at me and smiled.

"Welcome back."

"Is Bella okay?" I asked without preamble.

"She will be. The transformation is going well." He confirmed. "I gave her a lot of morphine, I think it's helping with the pain. She has barely moved."

He seemed pleased.

"Good."

I responded softly, moving to her side. I prayed she would remain without pain throughout the transformation. also knew it would help ease some of my guilt at failing her.

"That was quite an impressive stunt you pulled with the electric wall."

I nodded without removing my eyes from Bella's face.

"All that medical training you pushed me into finally had a practical use," I said.

He laughed softly.

I looked down at her, still unconscious. She seemed peaceful. More pale than usual, but that was probably due to the blood loss. I stroked her face with the back of my hand.

I looked quickly around the unfamiliar room. Where were we?

I took a moment to take in my surroundings. We were in a small bedroom in an unfamiliar house. The room we were in was painted a light pink- the decorations and furnishings made this room an obvious young girl's room. The decorations were young but the actual belongings were interesting. I scanned over a pile of classic books lying on a shelf , looking for a clue as to where we were. There was a stack of journals on a small desk and various ribbons for science fairs and spelling bees from elementary grades.

A sudden wave of understanding came over me and I smiled despite myself. We were in Bella's childhood bedroom. The decorating was clearly _not_ Bella- Probably Renee's touch, but the belongings screamed Bella.

I hadn't been here before and Bella's actual presence masked any residual scent. I found that I rather liked the surprise. It was like a glimpse into her otherwise closed mind. I drank in the essence of the room with enjoyment.

I glanced back to her journals, her thoughts laid bare before me just inches away. My fingers itched to pick them up. I knew Bella wouldn't be amenable to that plan and so I resisted the urge. Perhaps later, I could dazzle her into it as she put it.

One mystery solved, I wanted the answer to another.

"How long was I out?" I asked Carlisle.

He glanced at his wrist watch out of habit more than actual necessity. "You were out for 36 hours."

I stared at him in shock. That was unexpected.

"That long?" I hadn't been out that long the first time.

"I suspect it was a combination of both shocks that caused you to be out for longer the second time."

I quirked my eyebrow at him in question. How did he know about the first time? I hadn't told anyone the whole story yet.

"Alice." He answered my unvoiced question.

"I was worried about you," he continued as he tossed me a new shirt. "But Alice assured me that you would be fine. I never cease to be impressed with her accuracy."

I pulled the shirt on and nodded in acknowledgement. Alice was scarily accurate.

"Where is everyone?"

"Emmett and Rosalie are taking care of the evidence, so to speak. Alice and Jasper are making arrangements for transportation and Esme is surreptitiously checking on Charlie."

I nodded, feeling gratitude for my family. They had never let me down. I would have to apologize to Alice and Jasper for my reaction at the airport. I knew it wasn't their fault

"Renee won't be home for another week," he continued, "and we thought this was the best place for the moment until we can charter a plane home. We'll need to get Bella back to a controlled environment before the change takes full effect."

I nodded, lost in thought. Bella would become a vampire. I couldn't imagine it. Not even now.

"We'll take care of the details. You just watch over Bella. Let me know if you need me."

He graciously left the room, giving me time alone with Bella.

Ever the masochist, I ran my hands along her extremities and ribs checking for any damage that had not yet been repaired. I knew logically that the major structural damage would be the first thing to be repaired during the transformation, but I still needed to be sure. I was self-aware enough to recognize that on some level, I wanted to be punished for every pain that had been inflicted on her.

I pushed those thoughts away. This wasn't about me. I needed to focus only on what was best for Bella. I vowed to do that until the end of eternity to atone for what I just put her through.

She seemed to be in good shape, physically. Satisfied with my examination, I allowed myself to lie next to her in bed. I was careful not to jostle her as I positioned myself against her side. The heat coming off of her was like a thousand tiny suns burning their radiance into my skin.

She remained silent, but as I pulled her gently into my chest, I thought she seemed to relax just a little bit. I stroked her hair and kissed her face lightly as I let my thoughts consume me.

I realized that once she awoke she would be wild with newborn thirst and strength. And her emotions would be volatile. Perhaps even justly leading her to lash out at me. She had every right to hate me for what I had done to her. Or more accurately, what I had failed to do for her. Besides the physical pain and the loss of her life, I wasn't convinced that nothing had happened to her when James had her. His thoughts had been painful to hear. But I knew that whatever I had heard in his thoughts, paled in comparison with what Bella had experienced.

Letting my anger with James evaporate with the memories of his funeral pyre, I took the opportunity to relish in what might be the last hours I could spend with her.

Bella didn't even stir as I was consumed with my emotions. I briefly hoped Jasper was far, far away as my emotions took on swings of manic proportions. I alternated between self hatred for what I had done, relief that she was still with me, joy at the prospect of spending eternity with her and fear that she would hate me.

During this time, I came to terms with my decision to transform her. I had a life altering realization in those horrifying moments when her heart had stopped. I thought she had be taken away from me forever and I realized that I could not live without her. I could not exist without her for eternity.

I was truly selfish as I allowed my thoughts to drift to an eternity together with her. I would do everything in my power to make her happy. If she would forgive me, I amended to myself.

I never released her during the entire transformation. Not when Carlisle came to check on her, nor when my family members tried to coax me to hunt before our flight home. I couldn't leave her. It was physically impossible.

I carried her in my arms as we boarded the chartered jet. She didn't stir or scream once. It was unnerving and I added intense worry to my emotional rollercoaster. Carlisle assured me the transformation was going according to everything he had seen –minus the screaming and pain.

Alice ordered a King sized bed for my room which was delivered upon our return to Forks. I had laid there with Bella ever since. Carlisle and my family members each took turns checking on us silently. Each offered their own sentiments of hope and comfort through their quiet thoughts.

Carlisle tried to hide his darker thoughts around me, but he knew that the morphine had worn off long ago. Her stillness was not a result of the morphine any more, if it had been at all. He wondered silently if the trauma she received had been too much.

I nearly tore my hair out as he pondered the possibility that something was going wrong with her transformation due to her unprecedented stillness. He wondered if she would mentally stable when the process completed. My anxiety increased dramatically.

Finally, on the third day of her transformation, Bella's heart started to slow.

I tried to remind myself that this wasn't her dying, that she would awake. But my whole life had become attuned to the sound of her heart beating. My existence revolved around keeping her heart beating and it was hard to listen to it slowly dying. My guilt again took the foreground with thoughts of what I had done to her.

Her heart beat slowly.

I watched her carefully for any sound, any movement or reaction. I needed to see something. I needed reassurance that she would be okay. My anxiety at her stillness was increasing the longer this lasted. I wasn't sure how much longer I could stare at her expressionless face without losing my mind.

I began to sing her lullaby to break the silence. I wasn't sure if she could hear me. Regardless, I rocked her and hummed her lullaby softly in her ear.

As we rocked and I hummed, her hand twitched. It was the smallest movement. But it flashed like a beacon of blinding light. I couldn't have been more excited to see it.

"Carlisle!" I exclaimed.

He came running into the room immediately.

"Her hand moved."

I motioned toward her hand excitedly. I willed her to move again, to show a sign of life as it were.

"Do it again, baby. Show us you're still in there." I whispered encouragingly in her ear.

Her hand moved again, clenched into a fist. I looked up joyously at Carlisle. I was immensely relieved.

"How much longer?" I asked him.

"Not long now, I think."

"Emmett, Jasper," he called in a soft voice.

They appeared in the doorway along with Alice, Rosalie and Esme. As we had discussed, Emmett and Jasper stood closest to Bella with the girls behind them. We had no idea how Bella was going to react as a newborn. They could help keep her under control if needed.

I whispered into her hair encouragingly.

"Do you hear that Bella? It's almost over love. I need you to do this, I need you to pull through this. I love you. Please don't leave me. Not after everything we've gone through. Not after what you went through. I need you, Bella. I need you to come back to me."

I wasn't sure where the outpouring of emotion came from, but it was there and it was true. I needed her to make it through this and I needed her to forgive me.

I couldn't live if she didn't.

Bella's heart did a repeat performance – a sudden shuddering of quick heart beats and then a ringing silence. We all stared down at her in anticipation. There was no intake of breath, no awakening. Her heart simply stopped.

"Bella?"

I looked up at Carlisle in alarm. He nodded reassuringly. He took a step back to join ranks with Jasper and Emmett.

"_No need to overwhelm her,_" he thought kindly.

I released her from my hold and laid her down gently. I sat on the edge of the bed, tense with anticipation. My arms felt empty without her there. I ached to continue holding her, but I knew she would be confused and possibly violent when she awoke. She would need a little space, even from me.

Her eyes opened suddenly. Their bright red color surprised me momentarily. I had been preparing for these changes, I reminded myself. Her entire body tensed as she stared at me silently. I held myself very still so as to not alarm her. She stared at me with anxious, confused eyes, not moving. Not breathing.

"Bella, breathe, " I coaxed wanting the tension in the air to break.

Some things never change, I thought with a small smile.

She dragged in a quick, deep breath. With her new senses reactivated, she jerked to a sitting position. I moved back quickly and out of her way. She looked around in shock at my entire family, crammed into my bedroom.

Bella's eyes darted quickly across each of my family members. As her eyes fell across Emmett and Jasper she noticeably tensed.

I tried to look at it from her perspective- they did look rather intimidating with Emmett's bulk and Jasper's scars. Their defensive positioning probably didn't help that impression either.

"Bella?" I slowly reached a hand out to her arm as she stared at my family with wide eyes.

As soon as my hand touched her arm, she jerked away and bolted off the bed. Jasper and Emmett tensed at her sudden movement. We were all unused to her new speed.

Without moving my eyes from Bella, I held up my hand to remind Jasper and Emmett to give her space. I remained seated and turned my body toward her. She was crouched in a defensive position in the corner of the room. She looked wild and scared. Another emotion played across her face - embarrassment?

Jasper's thoughts confirmed my own conclusion. She was embarrassed. Would I never be able to understand her? She was such a mystery to me.

"Bella?" I called again, softly.

She locked her gaze with mine as I continued.

"It's okay. You're okay. We're not going to hurt you."

Her brow furrowed in confusion.

"Do you remember what happened? Do you know where you are?" I asked gently.

Her eyes darted around the room. Her nostrils flared. She looked like a cornered animal. She hadn't spoken yet, and I had no way to understand what was going through her head. I focused again on her mind - nothing. A complete blank. And some things never change, I repeated to myself, disappointed.

"Edward," she breathed.

Her voice was her own, but different. It had a depth and tone to it that was like music. It was positively alluring. I couldn't help the huge smile that broke out across my face in response.

"Bella." I breathed with reverence.

I wanted so badly to hold her, to comfort her. I knew that there was a distinct possibility that she hated me. That she was too overwhelmed to feel anything other than shock. I used all of my self control to refrain from running to her and rose slowly to my feet.

I took a small step forward and her still wild eyes locked onto my movement. I need to take this slowly so as to not alarm her. Her instincts would be on overdrive. She would be confused and aggressive.

Before I could react, she launched herself across the room and attacked me.


	10. Chapter 10

Ch 11

BPOV

The burning pain continued for what felt like an eternity. I laid immobilized by the morphine as the first waves of pain washed over my body. I could feel every searing inch as it spread, but the morphine affected my weak human body and froze me. I couldn't move or scream, but I was very, very aware.

I couldn't remember why, exactly, but I knew beyond escaping the pain I had to protect something. I had to be silent through my pain for some reason. Some one. That was as far as I could logically think through the pain.

In a way, I was grateful for the paralysis that held my unruly body in place. There was no way I could have done that on my own. I knew I had to find a way to be strong even when its effects went away.

The only thing I could focus on was distancing myself from the pain. My mind retreated into itself, into the safest place I could find. I could still feel the pain licking at the edges of my awareness, but I was tolerably numb. I laid that way for ages, embracing the numbness but feeling the ebbs and flows of pain washing over the edges of my awareness.

Eventually, I heard the voice of an angel break through the barriers in my mind. Through a thick haze, I heard a beautiful song being hummed. I mentally pressed through the haze to hear the sound. It was so beautiful and so comforting. I just wanted to be near it. As I pressed through the wall back to consciousness, I could also feel the pain of my body. It hurt so bad, and as I was about to retreat again the voice spoke to me.

"Do you hear that Bella? It's almost over love. I need you to do this, I need you to pull through this. I love you. Please don't leave me. Not after everything we've gone through. Not after what you went through. I need you, Bella. I need you to come back to me." The angel pleaded with me.

Bella. That sounded familiar. Was the angel talking to me? I felt like I knew the voice, that I knew him, but I couldn't bare to push through the numbness enough to remember. Suddenly, a terrible pain shot through my chest and I didn't have a choice, I was pulled back to awareness.

I felt the last shuddering beats of my heart as it finally gave out. The pressure was immense and painful and then suddenly gone. I laid perfectly still, afraid if I moved the pain would continue. I couldn't see or hear or sense anything. I slowly accepted that the pain was over and I was safe.

My eyes shot open and locked on the most beautiful sight. A beautiful boy was leaning over me. His eyes were the deepest golden pools and he was silhouetted with shimmering lights of every color in the rainbow and more I hadn't known existed before now. His hair was disheveled as though his hands had run through it repeatedly. His expression was tense, but he was still so beautiful it almost hurt to look iat him. As I examined him, I recognized that his eyes held knowledge well beyond his years. He was not a boy as I had first assumed, but a man. A beautiful, perfect man.

"Breathe, Bella." The man commanded softly.

I immediately realized I hadn't been breathing and obeyed the man. I inhaled a heavily perfumed breath of air. The smell and accompanying taste was like nothing I had ever experienced before. So many rich flavors and smells, it was amazing and utterly overwhelming.

I jerked upright from the shock of the sensory overload and realized that the man and I were not alone. Six other people were crammed into the tiny room. No, not people, I remembered; vampires. We were vampires. I took in their excited yet tense faces.

Nearest to the door stood a short girl with spiky hair who was smiling at me. I immediately liked her. Alice. Her name is Alice I remembered. Next to her stood a beautiful, statuesque blonde – Rosalie. I saw and recognized Esme and Carlisle.

In front of these four stood two more tense and very threatening looking vampires. I recoiled slightly in shock at the sheer size of the one and the dangerous, bite-riddled appearance of the other. Emmett and Jasper, I remembered. I knew them and even if every instinct in me told me to run away from their threatening presence– I knew they wouldn't hurt me.

Suddenly a hand reached out to touch my arm and I jerked away in shock. I hadn't been expecting the touch on my bare skin and it was surprising.

I hadn't really meant to launch myself from the bed, but I was crouched into the corner of the room in the blink of an eye. Seven sets of vampire eyes regarded me in surprise. I realized I had completely over-reacted. I was embarrassed and definitely the center of attention. If I could have, I would have blushed tremendously.

"Bella?" The man called to me. I looked at him intently. Why couldn't I remember his name? I knew it was significant to me. He was significant to me, I could tell. But it was just too much. It was like my mind had locked away the most important memories to protect them.

"It's okay. You're okay. We're not going to hurt you," he soothed. "Do you remember what happened? Do you know where you are?" he asked gently.

I scanned my eyes around the room quickly. I had remembered the others' names. I knew that they, and I, were vampires. I worked my way back from that knowledge until I recovered my last memories. The pain of the transformation, the dark room with the electric walls. As I remembered what had happed with James, it all came back to me in a giant rush. I felt foolish for forgetting, even temporarily.

"Edward." I spoke for the first time, unsure of my own voice. I locked my eyes on him. A huge and instant smile broke across his face like a rising sun. It was beautiful . He remained seated and I ached to touch him, to have him hold me. My breath caught and if I realized, had I been human my heart would have surely skipped a beat

I knew he didn't want this life for me. That my turning into a vampire was not a part of his plan. I only hoped that he would be able to accept me anyway. That he still loved me. As he remained away from me, I began to doubt. Was I too different from the human he fell in love with?

"Bella." He responded with what could only be described as reverence. He stood slowly and took a small step forward. I could see the longing in his eyes. He wanted me too- he still loved me. I couldn't contain myself any longer. He took another careful step forward, his hands raised slightly, and I couldn't take his slow cautiousness any longer. I needed to be near him, to have him hold me. I ran to him, and flung my arms around his body.

I was moving a lot quicker and more forcefully than I ever had before and the momentum of my movement caused us both to fall backwards onto the bed. I was surprised by the effect my actions had, but not enough to relinquish my hold on Edward. His eyes widened in surprise at my sudden movement, but I stayed over him, pinning him to the bed. I kissed him hard on the lips for a split second before I was ripped away from him. Jasper and Emmett acted quickly when I unitentionally tackled Edward.

The surprise of being ripped from Edward's arms caused a strong flash of anger and I reacted instinctively. I growled dangerously at them in warning. This only encouraged their perception that I was out of control and they pinned my arms behind my back. I snapped my teeth at their restraining arms. I was surprised by the force of my own emotions, but couldn't stop the instant reaction to fight off my attackers.

"Wait - she wasn't attacking me!" Edward called out to them. But it was too late. I was completely out of control.

I twisted and roared and snapped at their restraining hands. The two of them were having a hard time restraining me. Edward rushed quickly toward me just as my right arm broke free from Emmett's grasp. Without thinking I slashed through the air catching Edward on the face. I watched in horrified, slow motion as his head jerked forcefully to the left from the impact.

He turned back toward me with pitch black eyes, shock and hurt written across his features. There were horrible gashes from my fingernails visibly marring his perfect face.

I gasped in horror. What had I done?

In the surprise of the moment, I was able to tear my other arm away from Jaspers grasp and I sought escape from what I had done. As the door was currently blocked by the rest of my family, I leapt for the window, crashing through the closed pane. I didn't even think about the impact and certain death I was probably flinging myself toward.

I surprised myself by landing gracefully on the balls of my feet without any pain. I straightened from my crouch and ran for the woods as quickly as I could.

In the background I heard Edward yelling my name after me. I couldn't bare to see what I had done to him and I ran as fast as I could away from the love of my life.

**AN: Short, but I figured an update as soon as possible would be good. Please review! Is anyone still reading after watching the Twilight movie?**

**Disclaimer: Not mine, not mine. If it were, I'd be rich.**


	11. Chapter 11

Ch 12

BPOV

I ran as fast as I could away from the love of my life. Images of Edward's face kept flashing through my mind. His pitch black eyes. The surprise and the hurt, and most disturbingly, the gashes my own hands caused on his face.

I was a monster. I had attacked him without even thinking. I had been so angry and furious at being torn away from his arms. I felt so out of control. But I should have been able to stop myself, I should have never attacked him like that.

I replayed the last five minutes over and over in my mind. Jasper and Emmett had pulled me away from Edward. I briefly questioned if perhaps Edward didn't want me. Had he had made his wishes clear to his family and they were there to protect him against my unwanted advances? I struck the idea from my head as foolish insecurities. I saw the look of love in his eyes. I heard him trying to clarify what my intentions were to Jasper and Emmett. Surely he still wanted me. A small part of me wondered still. Did he love me as much, now that I was different? How about now that I had attacked him and ran?

Why did I run from them? From him? I was beginning to think about returning and facing them and the mistakes I had made. I was confused and torn.

Did I want to return to them? I had thought I wanted this life, but I hadn't really been given a lot of time to think it through. I did want to be with Edward, but what had I given up? Had I forced myself into his life permanently when he would have chosen otherwise? I was embarrassed about my actions and uncertain of my place in their family.

They had not chosen to have me join them. Perhaps they did not want me, even if Edward did still care for me.

I could suddenly hear them pursuing me. They were gaining ground – I could hear three of them running toward me. The one in the lead was Edward. I could tell by the sound of his voice calling my name desperately. The sound and his obvious pain made me feel worse. I had hurt him. I ran faster. I didn't know if I could outrun them, but I seemed to be keeping a small lead.

I ran without direction toward the south. I began to notice an unpleasant smell. It wasn't pleasant, but I had no choice but to continue towards it. I couldn't turn around and face the Cullens. I needed some time to think about the situation, so I continued to run. With my new vampire abilities it was all too easy to run and think.

I needed to think about my future- how could I force myself on their family when it was my own stupid decisions that brought me to this place? Would it be different if Edward had agreed to this? If their family had wanted me in the first place would I feel more accepting about this unexpected turn of events? But now I had gone and thrown myself into their world. A world I was realizing I knew very little about.

I ran through the woods until I entered a small clearing on the outskirts of La Push. I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw a human sitting on a log just out of the woods facing the clearing. His back was to me.

I knew enough to know that this was bad. I knew what vampires were meant to do. Edward had clearly explained the draw of human blood to me. I didn't want to be a murderer either.

Why hadn't I thought of the possibility of running into a human? No wonder the Cullen's were chasing me. A small insecure voice in my mind chided me -Perhaps that's why they're chasing you. They don't really want you after all. They just feel obligated to keep the humans safe.

I ignored the insecurities floating around in my head. I was completely focused on the human boy in front of me. I forget even about the Cullen's pursuit of me.

I didn't want to kill him. I wasn't feeling anything like what Edward had told me about. I didn't feel a draw toward him. I felt in control. I tentatively inhaled. The same mildly bad smell was there, nothing else. Curious, I took another step toward him. I was barely an arm's length away from his back and still he didn't turn.

I watched him curiously, completely engulfed and confused by this enigma. Shouldn't I want to kill him?

He was sitting on the log, engulfed in whittling wood. Over his shoulder I noticed a small pile of wood shavings at his feet. He continued to obliviously work on his piece of wood. It looked like a small animal of some kind. I noticed that he had earphones in his ears. So that's why he didn't hear me at all.

"Bella!" Edward whisper shouted behind me.

I whipped around to see Edward standing about 50 yards away from me. He was standing at the edge of the clearing but had not entered the clearing as I had. His eyes flicked to the boy's back and then back to mine. I noticed the gashes on his face had diminished to barely noticeable scratches. I was extremely relieved that I hadn't permanently hurt him. Apparently vampires healed very quickly.

"Bella, please." he whispered.

I automatically took an unintentional step toward him- he was so compelling. I realized what I was doing and stopped abruptly. I shook my head at him, not sure what to say. He may love me, but it wasn't fair to burden him with my presence. Not when he hadn't intended for me to become one of them. I needed time to think. I needed to decide what I wanted.

"Please, don't run. Just, come back to the house. We can talk about this." He whispered urgently. He looked like he wanted to come toward me but was restraining himself. His arm was outstretched toward me, his eyes pleading.

I didn't know what to say. I stood there with my mouth open to speak, but no words came out.

Carlisle and Alice materialized out of the trees next to him. They seemed to stop as awkwardly as he had. It was as if there was an invisible line drawn between us. I guessed they didn't want to risk alerting the human boy to our presence.

I longed to return to Edward. But I was confused about how things stood now. I needed time to think things through. I felt so out of control.

"I can't." I said loudly, exasperated.

With my too loud statement, the human boy jumped up and turned around to face me. I whipped my head around to look at him as he stared at me wide eyed.

Oops.

I quickly turned back to Edward, but he was no where to be seen. My keen hearing picked up the sounds of a scuffle in the woods. It sounded like Carlisle and Alice were restraining Edward. I strained to hear their quietly spoken words. I only heard a jumble of Alice's words.

"Edward… cant… the line…. soon... pack." Alice's broken words floated back to me making no sense.

Whatever the reason, the Cullen's were leaving. My heart sank a little at the thought, but I reminded myself it was for the best- for now. I needed to think about things. I needed time.

I remembered the boy with a start. I turned back to him. I recognized suddently that it was Jacob Black. The boy I had shamelessly flirted with to gain information about the Cullens.

"Bella?" Jacob asked, surprised.

"Jacob?" I responded.

"What? What are you doing out here in the woods?" he questioned with a surprised laugh.

"I, uh, I got lost." I responded lamely. I was still a bad liar apparently. I kept my eyes on my feet, hiding my face. Perhaps he wouldn't notice what a bad liar I was.

"What are you doing out here?" I tasked trying to redirect his focus away from my lie.

He took a cautious step toward me and I could smell that repulsive scent just a little bit stronger. It was coming from him. What was going on? I thought I was supposed to be attracted to the scent of humans. At least I wasn't fighting the urge to kill him- I would take the small miracle.

"Oh, well we're just outside of La Push. I come here to think and get away- it's not too far. I can show you the way back to La Push and drive you home. " He responded with an easy smile.

I snuck a peek at him and noticed he had yet to make eye contact with me. He was shifting his feet nervously and a faint blush spread across his cheeks.

I held my breath, just incase, and responded.

"Um, actually, do you mind if we just stay here for a bit? I need to do a bit of thinking myself." I laughed nervously.

"Sure. Sure" He responded happily as he turned back around and sat down on the log. He picked up his whittling stick and his pocket knife to resume his project. I cautiously sat on the log next to him. I still seemed to be in control.

He didn't put his ear buds back in, so I assumed he was okay with my unexpected interruption.

"What are you making?" I asked him politely.

Another quick blush rose to his cheeks, and I again held my breath. No need to tempt things.

"Nothing." He responded quickly. He seemed embarrassed.

"Ahh, come on Jake. You can tell me." I responded with a light chuckle. Why was he so embarrassed?

He cleared his throat. "It's uh, well, actually, it's for you." He said without looking at me. Oh. That explained his embarrassment. The air suddenly felt awkward around us.

"It's a wolf" he explained. "You know like in the old legends I told you about." He dug his toe into the damp ground, creating a small hole.

We both stared at the spot, silent.

"Thanks" I responded once I realized I needed to. "That's really, uh, thoughtful of you." I finished lamely.

He laughed at the awkwardness and after a second I had to join him as well. Our laughter fueled the fire and soon we were both laughing together- his head thrown back in loud guffaws. The weird tension was cleared and it was good to just laugh with him.

It felt nice to forget about all the crazy changes my life had taken, to just feel normal for a bit. It felt as natural as breathing. Well as breathing used to be, I thought sarcastically.

"Ya, well." He chuckled.

"Ya." I agreed.

For the first time he looked up at me. I smiled as our eyes connected. He recoiled from me in shock and scrambled to his feet away from me.

I froze in response staring at him with wide eyes. What was wrong with him?

"What happed to your eyes!?" he exclaimed.

"What do you mean?" I asked in alarm.

"They're red, Bella." He stated as if it should be obvious.

"Huh? What's the big deal?"

"They're red!" he exclaimed again, still scared.

"Red? Like _Red_?" I asked now also alarmed. Did he mean like the color red- like more than bloodshot? His reaction certainly indicated something was wrong.

"Ya, like 'red, red' " he repeated sharply. "Not Brown or blue, but freaky-Halloween, blood-red."

Huh. I hadn't expected that one. Apparently my eyes were red. I had of course noticed Edward's changing eye color. I had correctly guessed that they changed color according to his hunger. I'd never seen them red before though. I guessed it had to do with my status as a new vampire.

Really, I was taking this amazingly calmly. I didn't know if it was because my freaking out would only alarm Jake more, but I remained calm and actually came up with a good explanation.

"Oh! Right. I forgot. I'm wearing contacts." I put on what I hoped was a sheepish expression.

"You forgot?" he asked incredulously. He was clearly relieved as he sank back to the log.

"Ya, it's not like I can see them. I forgot I had them in." I said with a forced chuckle. Okay, so the lying was coming easier now.

"Geesh. You nearly gave me a heart attack there Bells. Why are you wearing them anyway? They're pretty freaky. You're not like, some weird goth or anything are you?" He questioned with a smile.

"Ya. No. I'm in a play at school." Simple, plausible.

"As what- the devil?" he teased.

"Something like that." I agreed- I suppose he wasn't that far off.

"Right. Well not to be a wimp or anything, but can you take them out, they're kinda giving me the creeps?" he asked.

Crap. I couldn't take them out, not at all. I had to think fast.

"I, uh, don't have anything to put them in. They're kind of expensive and I need them for the play and all…." I trailed off.

"Okay- I just won't look at you." He teased.

I gave him what I hoped was an apologetic smile. "Sorry." He smiled in response, back to his former easy nature.

We sat together in a comfortable silence for a few minutes more while he whittled away on the wolf. I enjoyed his relaxing presence and felt quite a peace. I was even able to get used to the mildly disturbing smell coming off of him.

As I again realized that I should be wanting to eat him, but wasn't at all tempted- my mind drifted toward why that might be. I was interrupted by the sounds of something crashing through the forrest. It was loud enough that just a few seconds after I noticed it, Jacob's head lifted in the same direction.

"wha..?" Jacob's inquiry was cut off by three huge wolves barreling out of the trees into our clearing. I immediately sprang to my feet- my insticts on high alert. These were not regular wolves. I instinctively knew they could hurt me.

The three wolves were gigantic. Much larger than any animal had a natural right to be. All three were intent on us, teeth bared in identical menacing snarls.

The one in the middle, the largest one, stayed directly in front of us – eyes locked with mine, while the other two spread out slightly, flanking us. I realized they were working with each other, working together to trap us. They were clearly intelligent.

As their eyes stayed glued to us and they slowly approached us, teeth bared, I placed myself protectively in front of Jacob.

"What are you doing!?" He whispered furiously at me. Of course he had no idea that I was much more durable than he. That I could protect him much better than he could me. He tried to grab my arm to pull me behind him, but of course he couldn't budge me. I felt myself crouching into a defensive position.

**a/n: Sorry for the wait on this update. I've had a hard time deciding where I want to go with this story as I was originally intending it to end after the ballet studio. If you have any ideas- let me know!! I think I know mostly where I want to go, and this IS my longest chapter yet, so hopefully it was worth the wait.**

**Please review- it really keeps me motivated!**


	12. Chapter 12

Ch 13

BPOV

The wolves slowly flanked us. Their muzzles pulled back into identical, menacing snarls. I knew I was virtually indestructible, but something in me was telling me they could hurt me and they were going to try. I was crouched in a defensive position with Jacob behind my slightly outstretched arms. I would not go down without a fight.

The advanced on us with precision and coordination. They were working together to trap us. The reality of the situation crashing down on me. and I realized that these were more than just unnaturally overgrown wolves. These were the Quileute werewolves from the legends. They were just as real as the vampires obviously were. My mind was spinning.

I could hear Jacob's accelerated heartbeat and quick breathing. His hand gripped on my upper arm as if he wanted to pull me out of the way.

As I prepared for a fight, examining all my options, the wolves' advance stopped and their attention shifted in unison to something behind us. I didn't dare tear my eyes away, but I recognized the presence of the Cullen family behind me.

The entire family was standing there at the edge of the clearing. I could hear their low growls in response to the wolves. Despite my uncertainty about my future with them, I was extremely relieved for the backup.

Jacob followed the line of sight of the wolves back to the Cullens standing at the edge of the clearing. His gasp relayed his understanding that things were not as he had thought. I suspected that he saw menacing stances and the currently less than human appearances of the Cullens - our protectors. I wondered, briefly if he too had realized the reality of his own "scary stories".

I moved Jake and myself subtly to the side, taking us slightly out of the center of the face off and allowing me a clearer view of both groups – the vampires and the wolves. As I suspected, the entire Cullen family was present and tensed for a fight.

There was a tense standoff for about half a minute, before Edward slowly stepped forward with his hands raised, palms in the air. The wolves all tensed and their growls increased to a new level. They didn't like his approach, but they didn't move.

I didn't know where to rest my eyes- on Edward's slow advance or the wolves' tense line. If I were human I would have had whiplash from moving my head back and forth between the two groups. What was he doing?

"She means no harm to the boy." Edward said directly to the tallest wolf in the center. The wolves didn't visibly change their stances, but something about the middle wolf screamed disbelief. They thought I was the threat? That I was going to harm Jacob?

A silent conversation ensued between Edward and the wolves.

"No, we didn't – " Edward bit out as if interrupting. He shook his head emphatically, clearly disagreeing with their thoughts. "We didn't have a choice."

It was like listening to a conversation over the phone. I could only hear one side, but I could infer what the other side was saying- or thinking in this case. They were definitely talking about me.

Edward continued shaking his head quickly, clearly frustrated with their thoughts. "Just let us explain –" he tried again. The growling continued and Edward's eyes flitted to mine quickly before returning to the wolves.

"Of course I didn't do this to her!" he yelled, suddenly at the end of his patience. The wolves growled at his outburst and the vampires snarled in response to the wolves. The combined noise rang loudly around the clearing.

I gasped in response to Edward's statement. He didn't want this for me. He **wouldn't** have chosen this for me. He just affirmed every fear and insecurity I had about this new life. He looked quickly at me but his face was unreadable. There must have been something he saw in my expression, because surprise and regret flashed across his face.

"Please.' He pleaded looking at me. I didn't know if his words were meant for me or a continuing part of the conversation. "Please, let me explain." His eyes were pleading with me. He had an air of desperation about him. Our eyes locked for an undecipherable amount of time.

"That is unacceptable." He exclaimed suddenly as he turned back to the wolves with a fierce expression, his own teeth bared. Suddenly it was clear that Edward was protecting me. He had placed himself between the wolves and Jacob and me.

The wolves bristled at his tone and took an aggressive step forward.

"You'll have to get through me first." Edward threatened. The responding hissing and growling did nothing to clear the already tense situation. I was putting my loved ones in danger – again. If I let this go on for any longer, it would end in a fight and someone would get hurt.

The largest wolf crouched lower as if to spring on Edward, and I reacted without thinking. "Wait! I'll turn myself in." I called desperately. The words didn't really make sense, but too many years of bad TV dramas didn't supply me with any better wording. "I didn't mean for any of this to happen- it's not what I want!"

Edward visibly flinched at my words. I didn't have to be a mind reader to realize, too late, that he took my words to mean I didn't want a life as a vampire- a life with him. I didn't know yet, one hundred percent about the vampire part- the part I had not chosen, but I did know with a certainly about the part I had chosen. I would always choose Edward. I could never choose another option that meant life without him.

I suddenly had my answer. No matter what choices I did or didn't have- I would choose Edward. My epiphany left a part of me reeling.

I didn't have the chance to explain any of that to Edward. His eyes were locked on the wolves, but I felt as if he was intentionally not looking at me, as if it would hurt him too much. I could see the pain he was trying to hide in the tenseness of his jaw and the hard set of his shoulders. I had hurt him deeply again and again - first with my actions and now with my unintentional words.

The largest wolf suddenly began shivering violently. Before my eyes the wolf's entire frame seemed to vibrate inward on itself as he quivered into an upright stance. Before me stood a man with tanned skin and not a stitch of clothing on. I averted my eyes reflexively as he slipped on a pair of pants I hadn't noticed earlier that were folded and tied around his ankle.

"Sam?" Jacob's frantic voice came out about an octave higher than it should have. He sounded extremely surprised. I turned toward him just in time to see him faint. I caught him easily behind his shoulders and knees and swung him up into my arms bridal style.

Everyone froze and turned toward me. I realized that they seemed to be expecting me to attack Jacob. My eyes locked with Sam's which were wide and alarmed. Before I could reassure them that I meant Jacob no harm, all hell broke loose.

With a quick bound and a growl, one of the smaller wolves jumped toward us. His teeth were bared and snarls ripped from his throat. I tensed as I prepared to dodge his attack, but before I could even move, Edward's body collided with the wolf in mid-air.

Their collision dropped them heavily to the ground a few feet in front of us. They struggled in a furry of limbs, growls and teeth to gain the upper hand. I watched with wide eyes as Edward narrowly avoided the snapping, razor sharp teeth of the wolf. Within seconds of landing, Edward pinned the wolf to the ground with a hand around its throat.

Although both groups had taken a collective step forward, the fight was over before it really started.

Edward was crouched over the wolf with one hand around his neck in a choke hold. He was beyond furious and growling at the wolf. "Stay. Away. From. Her." He looked truly terrifying and I feared that he was going to crush the wolf.

"Stop! Please stop." I begged frantically. If these wolves were really people, the Quileute people to be exact, Edward would feel horrible later- even if it was trying to kill me. Edward looked toward me and seemed to regain a measure of calm.

After a deep breath, he released the wolf and stepped back quickly to his defensive position. The wolf got up with an angry snarl and resumed its position beside Sam. Edward still glared angrily as the wolf joined ranks, but he seemed more in control.

Carlisle's rational voice interrupted. "We didn't come here to fight. We just came for Bella. No lives need to be lost today." I didn't turn to look, but I imagine he held his hands in the air in a sign of peace as Edward had earlier.

"It's too late for that!" Sam responded angrily. Edward shook his head, but didn't respond. "You broke the treaty when you took her life –" he motioned toward me angrily, "and when you crossed onto our lands!"

"I already told you. We wouldn't do this to her!" Edward responded with his teeth clenched together. "And she didn't know about the boundary line." he added as an angy afterthought. He was barely holding his temper in and Sam wasn't fairing much better. He too looked like he wanted to rip someone's throat out. This was going to escalate again if someone didn't do something.

"Sam. Edward." Carlisle's calm voice interrupted. He sounded every bit the father scolding his unruly children.

"Please." Carlisle directed his comments to Sam. "We can explain this situation. Let us talk in a rational manner. This can be resolved peacefully with you and your Elders."

When Sam didn't respond, but continued to glar angrily at Edward, Carlisle continued. "We request that they meet us here, tomorrow night."

"So all eight of you can ambush the Elders- I don't think so." Sam spat out angrily looking now to Carlisle.

"I will come, with Edward. Just two." Carlisle offered over the murmured protests of the rest of the family. "You may bring however many you wish. We will come in peace, trusting you to help us resolve this conflict."

Sam's nodded reluctantly and his eyes flicked over to me, still holding Jacob. "Give us the boy." He stated to Carlisle while looking at me. There was no way Carlisle was going to hand over Jacob to those monsters. Who knew what they would do to him now that he knew their secret.

"Of course." Carlisle responded.

_What?! _

I took a step backwards, surprised at Carlisle's response. How could he just hand over Jacob? Didn't he realize they would hurt him? Jacob didn't do anything wrong – it was my mistake coming on to their land. He had simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time. I felt responsible for his safety.

I shook my head slowly back and forth as I took another step away from the group. All eyes were back on me. Edward moved toward me again, his hand outstretched.

"Bella- give them the boy." He said in a soothing voice. The air was tense again.

"Edward!" I hissed. Was he so willing to sacrifice and innocent?

"Bella – it's okay. Just put him down and step away." He pleaded.

I was not going to let this happen. I had formed a connection with Jacob. First, on the beach at La Push and now again as we sat peacefully while he whittled in the woods. He was a good person. I would protect him. I owed him that. I turned and ran into the woods with Jacob still in my arms. The clearing erupted into howls and chaos behind me.

**A/N: I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to update- I usually am much better at updating regularly. With the holidays and travel and such, I've been a total slacker. I still am in need of ideas for where to take this story (that's part of the problem of why I'm tentative to write more, I've been waiting for inspiration to strike). So if you have any ideas, I'd love to hear them in the comments or your can PM me. **

**Please review! I already have the next chapter written and I will put it up early this week if you review so I know people are still interested and reading.**

Disclaimer: All characters, rights etc belong to Stephenie Meyer.


	13. Chapter 13

Ch 14

"_Bella- give them the boy." Edward said in a soothing voice. The air was tense again._

"_Edward!" I hissed. Was he so willing to sacrifice and innocent? _

"_Bella – it's okay. Just put him down." _

_I was not going to let this happen. I had formed a connection with Jacob Black. First on the beach all that time ago as he told me legends and now again as we sat peacefully while he whittled in the woods. I would protect him. I owed him that. I turned and ran into the woods with Jacob still in my arms. The clearing erupted into howls behind me._

I ran as quickly as I could. The howling and growls tore at my heart. I felt it break into pieces as I left it behind me in the clearing. I prayed that my actions wouldn't cause another fight to break out between the vampires and wolves. I couldn't take it if anyone else was hurt because of me. But I knew, I just couldn't let them take Jacob. I wouldn't let him end up a victim of other's choices. I would give him the chance to make his own choices. I would protect him.

I could only think of one place to go and I ran there as fast as I could.

Even with my conviction to protect Jacob, my heart ached at the thought of Edward getting hurt because of me. I had to believe that wouldn't happen. I looked down at the innocent, boyish face of Jacob unconscious in my arms. I owed him at least this. I owed him the freedom to be his own person- to choose his own way. I wasn't going to give him over to the wolves, even if they were his people. Who knew what they would do to someone who knew their secret? I couldn't abandon him like that.

As I ran, I distantly realized that his weight was not an extra burden at all which bothered me somewhat in the back of my mind. I was still getting used to the super-human abilities of being a vampire.

When I reached the back side of Charlie's house, I paused outside to make sure he wasn't home. It was early morning, he would most likely already be at work. Once I confirmed the house was empty, I ran around to the front of the house, used the spare key Charlie always kept on the top of the door frame and let myself in. I prayed that none of the neighbors were awake yet. There was no way me carrying Jacob this easily would go unquestioned if they saw me doing it.

Even though this had been my home for a little while now, I felt like an intruder now. As I looked around, I saw everything with new eyes- as a visitor. I laid Jacob down on the worn, old couch in the living room. He was asleep and snoring softly. Somewhere in my mind, I remembered that sleeping could be a coping mechanism to a traumatic event.

I paced back and forth in front of the couch, unsure of what to do next. I hadn't really thought my reactions through went I ran away with Jacob. I was so quick to act on instinct now. It was overwhelming. I thought about the wolves and the legends Jacob had told me. There was so much information there, now that I knew it was all true.

Pretty soon, Jacob stirred and I could tell he was coming back to consciousness. He woke up with a start and sat up on the couch staring at me with wary eyes.

"What happened?" He asked with a wide eyed, confused look.

"After you passed out?" I stalled.

"Ya- after, before. During. I don't really understand anything that just happened." He looked frustrated and confused. I couldn't help but sit next to him on the couch and place a comforting hand on his shoulder. He flinched away from me slightly, and I tried to hide the hurt from my eyes. I would have to be careful with him.

"After you passed out, I brought you back here – away from the wolves." I hoped he wouldn't think about _how_ I was able to carry him that far. I wasn't ready for the conversation about what I was yet.

"The wolves with Sam!" he said, connecting the information in his mind. He paused in deep thought for a few seconds. "It's all true, isn't it?" he asked, looking into my eyes. "The wolves, the vampires. Wow, I feel like my head is going to explode." He lowered his head into his hands. I reached out again cautiously and continued to rub his shoulder in what I hoped was a comforting way. He didn't flinch away this time. "The Cullens. And Edward." He lifted his head to glare at me accusingly. "You knew- you knew what they were."

"Yes." I confirmed quietly. He turned his face away from me, staring steadily at his hands clasped together in his lap.. I decided it would be best to continue with the entire truth. "I didn't know about the wolves before just now, but the stories you told me- about the vampires, I knew about them. I figured it out shortly after you told me and Edward confirmed my suspicions… eventually." He looked at me for a few tense moments before responding.

"You're different - and your eyes. You're not - you're one of them?" he asked in a quiet whisper, his eyes wide again.

I let my silence become my admission as I looked him in they eye. He flinched slightly at the intensity of my gaze and probably the redness as well. He nodded grimly before breaking eye contact.

We remained quiet for what seemed like a long time, but in reality it was only a few minutes. I didn't dare move or breathe for fear of scaring Jacob away. I found it ironic that now I was the one that was waiting for the running and screaming. And I realized that I didn't want him to hate me. I didn't want him to be scared of what I was. I needed someone from my former, human life to still accept me. To know the truth of what had happened and not reject me. There was probably some seriously messed up psychology in that, but I still needed it. Finally, after an amazingly long time, he looked up into my face.

"Shouldn't you be trying to kill me or something?" he asked too calmly for such a question.

I smiled slightly. He was making an effort here. "I guess I don't want to." I replied lightly. "You don't smell appealing at all." He nodded as if absorbing that information. I guessed that he was probably still in shock from information overload.

"Jake." I said softly. He raised his eyes to look at me. "It's still me." I said with a small sigh. I had a lot riding on that statement. I needed his acceptance, I needed him to acknowledge that in some deep psychologically messed up way. I don't know what he saw in my eyes, but he looked into them and I felt like he could really see me there. Something crossed his face that I couldn't quite identify- determination perhaps?

"So I don't smell good, huh?" he asked trying to lighten the mood of the room. I saw the small glimmer of acceptance in this, and I couldn't help the grin that spread over my face. He grinned back slightly in response. It wasn't complete acceptance, but it was a big first step.

"Actually, I have a theory about that." I said trying to move the subject away from myself. I explained my theory that the Quileute wolves were more than just legends, that Sam was part of this legendary heritage. That perhaps it was a genetic link passed from generation to generation – thus the legends. His eyes grew wide at the connections I was making. Suddenly, the damn burst open.

"What are you saying? That I'm like them? That I'm going to turn into a giant freak?" He was nearly hysterical with accusations I didn't have the answer to. I tried to calm him by apologizing for my theorizing. I told him I was sorry and that it was just a theory. I didn't really know what this whole situation meant for him. I watched from the couch as he stood and took up my earlier position, pacing back and forth in front of the couch.

I suddenly had someone else to worry about more than myself. Sure, my situation was difficult and I had to come to terms with a life I didn't quite have the option to choose. But remembering my earlier epiphany, I knew I would have chosen it. I would have chosen Edward over everything, even a normal, human life.

But Jake had it much worse. He was finding out about a whole world he didn't know about an hour ago. And to make matters worse, he might have no choice in how that affected him. I had already had a choice. I had chosen Edward. I imagined he was feeling more lost and scared than I had been since I woke up. And just like that, I felt the connection to Jacob grow. I knew that he needed someone who could understand how crazy this was. How his whole life was spinning out of his control.

Eventually he calmed down and began speaking in a subdued voice. I could tell he needed someone to confide in. "I know Sam. He's got a bit of a reputation. Everyone steers clear of him- like he's got a free pass to do whatever the hell he wants. You know? And there's these two other guys that he's always with, like bossing around and stuff- they're all intense about 'our land' and 'our tribal pride'". They can pretty much do whatever they want and no one says anything. Not even the Tribal Council."

"Ya. I could imagine why." He comments fueled my theories about who exactly on the reservation knew about the wolves. Were they supported by the Tribe leaders? Did they know about the wolves, or were they acting on their own? There were so many unanswered questions. I shelved all that when I saw the lost look on Jake's face.

"Well, they really smell bad." I continued to my original point. He kinda snorted in an amused way. "Don't take this the wrong way, but you smell like them - but less concentrated. I think it's something about your genetics." I didn't know how he would take this information. I didn't consider him any different because of his heritage, but this must be complete information overload for him. I wasn't sure what this information would mean for him

He exhaled a deep breath. "I know. I figured that one out already. Pretty much when I saw Sam transform or whatever" he shivered slightly at the memory. "It's just so weird. I can't believe all this stuff is true. All these stupid ghost stories." He shook his head slowly in disbelief.

"Believe it, because here I am." I said bumping my shoulder against his gently. He smiled at me a little more enthusiastically.

"Why'd you do it? Why'd you want to become a … vampire." He stumbled over the previously ridiculous word.

"Well, it wasn't really my choice at the time." I said cautiously. I figured if he could open up to me, I could return the trust. And really, I needed someone to talk to about it all. Seeing Jake's situation had made me understand that mine wasn't that bad. But I still felt that nagging need to have someone normal understand and accept me. So I told him everything.

I told him about Edward, and how much I loved him. I told him about the baseball game and James and his coven. His eyes got all dark and angry at that part and I glossed over the details of the pain James caused me. I told him that there was nothing the Cullen's could do- that it wasn't them who changed me. And that I would surely be dead if they hadn't come for me.

I also voiced my new epiphany for the first time, assuring him that my choice would have been to become immortal, to stay with Edward. But the choice was taken away from me and it was a hard adjustment. He listened to it all, silently, but encouragingly. It was a huge relief to just get it all out there. It was uncensored and raw. But it was even more of a relief that I thought it would be – and that was saying a lot.

When I was finished. He remained quiet thoughtful. "It's still you." He repeated back my words to me and it was the beautiful thing I had ever heard him say. Then he smiled at me and the sight of it breaking across his face was as glorious as the most beautiful sunrise. And I knew in that moment, Jacob and I would always have a piece of the other person. The things happening around us had forever changed the way our lives would be, and we had taken a step toward acceptance of our new lives together. As I looked at his bright smile, I felt the warmth he naturally radiated. He was my own personal sun warming me in my darkest of nights.


	14. Chapter 14

CH 15

EPOV

I watched dumbstruck as Bella turned and ran from the clearing with the boy in her arms. I barely had enough time to register my own shock before the angry thoughts and matching howls erupted from the wolves. Everything in me itched to race after Bella and I had to forcibly stop my feet from following after her.

Just before she ran, I recognized that stubborn flash in her eye and protectiveness. I knew she had misunderstood the situation. She didn't understand that these were Jacob's people. He was perfectly safe with them. Probably more so than with her. I let my gaze linger for a moment longer on the empty forest in front of me before breathing out a frustrated sigh. I left my ruminations regarding Bella's motives for a later time. Duty first- always duty first. Chasing after her would make me feel better, but the real danger to my Bella and my family lay here, behind me.

Alice was already scanning the future for Bella. She too didn't want her to run into any unsuspecting humans or other trouble. Although it was hazy, which confused both her and me, Alice's vision seemed to confirm that Bella was headed for Charlie's house. No humans would run in to her. She would be fine for the moment.

I turned around to find my family now in line with me, effectively blocking the wolves from chasing after Bella. I needed to deal with this situation first.

Sam had returned to his wolf form in the excitement of the moment and all three wolves were beyond upset. Their minds buzzed with fear for the boy and anger at the 'leeches' blocking their path to save him. They were on the verge of attacking us to get to Bella. Their thoughts clued me in on who the boy –Jacob, I corrected myself - who Jacob's father was in their tribe. They had high expectations of Jacob joining their pack and becoming a leader one day. Of course, my trouble magnet had picked the perfect human to feel needlessly protective over. I almost rolled my eyes. It was so Bella.

It was fascinating to gleam all this information from the unsuspecting collective pack mind, but I focused in on the task at hand. There would be plenty of time later to worry about getting Jacob back to his people. The trouble was currently directly in front of me.

I gave a pointed look to Jasper, who instantly settled a calm bubble around the clearing. From their slowed and more calm thoughts, I assumed Jasper's power was more directly concentrated on the wolves but I also felt a draining of tension within my own body. Carlisle spoke directly to Sam. He wisely addressed their immediate concerns first.

"Bella doesn't mean any harm to the boy. She won't attack him." He added a mental "_Right?" _in my direction. I nodded slightly. She wasn't panicked or suffering from blood lust. I don't know exactly what she was thinking- but knowing Bella it was probably something completely ridiculous and self-sacrificing. I focused back on the conflict.

In case it wasn't painfully obvious from the growls, I spoke their thoughts allowed to Carlisle.

"They don't believe you." I said simply. I chose to edit the more malicious thoughts floating through their minds. They didn't know I could hear their thoughts and I didn't want to give away my ability to listen in yet. The collective pack mind was simply fascinating. I was learning so much.

Carlisle responded calmly. "You have my word" he assured.

One of the smaller wolves mentally argued to Sam, feeling quite justified in his position. "They have so totally broken the treaty, we have every right to attack them right now. They can't be trusted. Just look what they did to Charlie's daughter!"

I responded angrily to his thoughts, looking directly at him. "We didn't did that to her- we tried to save her!". They'd find out sooner or later that I could hear them anyway, I justified to myself.

The shock that I could hear their thoughts rippled through their minds, and also registered in their renewed tense stances. Their reaction was pronounced enough to make Emmett snicker quietly at their surprise. I held back a smirk of my own. Sometimes my extra abilities came in handy.

Carlisle tried to bring their attention back to the issue, rather than allowing them to focus on my ability. He was careful to smother slightly irritated thoughts at tipping our hand because I couldn't hold my temper where Bella was concerned. "We will return the boy to you, unharmed. You will have to trust that what happened to Bella was not done by us and did not breach the terms of the treaty. We can explain the situation. Today's incident was an unfortunate misunderstanding."

Sam seemed to consider Carlisle's assurances while the other two wolves continued to barrage him with their doubts. They clearly didn't believe Carlisle and were afraid that if they let us leave now there would be nothing to stop us from running and taking Jacob with us. They were concerned that we had somehow realized Jacob's position as their potential future leader and had taken a valuable chess piece. They also seriously doubted we didn't kill Bella.

The smallest of the wolves, the one who had attacked earlier, was urging Sam to fight through us and save Jacob now. His mental pictures of Bella biting Jacob and drinking his blood while they stood wasting time were almost humorous. He highly underestimated his own stink. Even a new born obviously had better senses than to want to take a bite out of something that vile smelling. I hadn't gotten close enough to JAcb to discern if he smelled as bad as the rest of his kin, but clearly Bella had been able to control herself. He was in more danger of being crushed accidentally by her than of her biting him. Clearly this young wolf lacked any practical experience with vampires, yet he was so anxious to have a "rematch" with me as he thought of it.

No aware that I was listening in on their mental conversation, and consequently learning quite a bit of information, Sam cut the other wolves off. I was grudgingly impressed with his mental control and his leadership. He looked at me tentatively, feeling slightly foolish for thinking _**at**_ me. "We need more. We need a guarantee."

I sighed and told Carlisle that we'd have to offer something as collateral in order for them to trust us. Carlisle quirked an eyebrow at me in silent questioning. "_What would they possibly accept as collateral?" _

"I will stay until the boy is returned safely." I volunteered aloud, much the surprise of both my family and the wolves.

Alice was the first to voice her dissatisfaction with my plan as she scanned the future furiously for the outcome of this decision. My future was suddenly and alarmingly blank. She hissed. That worried me as well. I didn't think they'd try to kill me. But if something went wrong… I tried not to dwell on it. I would do anything in my power to make Bella safe. If it required me to offer myself as _collateral_, I would do it. I would do everything I could to avoid death at the hands of teenage werewolves, but if my life ended to ensure that Bella was safe, so be it.

Luckily, Alice couldn't simply voice her discovery of my now blank future in front of the wolves. She was not happy about staying silent on the matter and mentally berated me and pleaded with me not to do it. I ignored her. No one else would know about the potential danger until the trade was completed.

After tense, but quick, consideration Sam nodded his head once- accepting the trade. I pleaded with my eyes with Carlisle to allow me this choice. _Are you sure? _ He asked me after studying my determined features. I nodded, almost eager.

Carlisle accepted the terms with wary words to the wolves and a sideways glance at me. "We meet here tonight at midnight. We'll bring the boy to you and Edward will return with us. _Unharmed._" He stressed the last word in a hard voice.

Sam's wolf head nodded again, he was purposely devoid of any specific thoughts. I took the opportunity to talk to Alice.

"Please make sure Bella understands they aren't going to harm Jacob. He'll be safe and he needs to be with his people. Tell her that I love her and that I don't blame her for wanting to protect him or for …earlier." I hesitated on how to refer to her intial reactions upon finding herself a vampire. I didn't blame her for any thing but I didn't want the wolves to know that she had essentially attacked me. That was private and I knew she didn't mean to hurt anyone. She was simply overwhelmed by everything. Alice understood my meaning and nodded. She was upset with my decision but understood it was mine to make. She silently agreed to give my message to Bella. I reached out to her head and ruffled her spiky hair in my best big brother imitation. As a testament to how truly upset she was, she actually let me do it before she turned away from me.

I watched as my family reluctantly melted into the woods leaving me alone with the wolves.

Now without my family, I turned to face the three wolves and for the first time since I had seen them, I felt a tiny thrill of fear. The three of them could utterly destroy me if they chose to. Worse yet, they knew it.

"What are we supposed to do with him now?" The youngest wolf asked in his mind to the others. It was a very good question. One I was wondering myself.

**AN: It's been a while since I did Edward's point of view- I hope you enjoyed it. I am trying to be nice with this update so soon after my previous chapter. Let me know if the extra effort is making you happy.**

**Review, review, review! **

**Oh yes- also, I'm looking for a BETA. It would be great if it was someone who could also help bounce around creative ideas on where to take this story. I have the basic idea, but if you want to help send me a PM. Of course you'll be credited for the story too!**


	15. Chapter 15

Ch 16

"Jake? Are you feeling all right, you're not looking so good." He grimaced. Out of habit I reached a hand up to his forehead to feel his temperature. He flinched from my cold fingers. He felt like he was on fire, but I couldn't be sure if it was him or me, with my colder body temperature.

I could, however, see small drops of sweat beginning to gather on his brow. I was distracted as I watched the fascinating droplets bead on his dark skin. It was so easy to get distracted now with all this extra sensory information. I did realize in the back of my mind that I was actually finding Jake's sweat interesting. My former self would have cringed at that.

His light groan pulled me out of my fascination. "I don't feel so good."

"Here, lie down on the couch. I think you're coming down with something." I moved out of the way and positioned a pillow for his head. He laid down with his legs curled into his chest, but he was still way too big for the old couch. He looked like he was in danger of toppling off the front at any moment, especially with his now trembling body. He closed his eyes as invisible chills gripped him. His fever had come on pretty suddenly and he looked really miserable. I wasn't sure if this was some kind of post-traumatic shock or an actual fever, but some medicine would at least let him sleep it off. I raced up to the bathroom, searching around for Nyquil.

I returned to his side and spoon fed him the liquid while he made a nasty face at the taste. Again acting on instinct from a former life, I smoothed back his hair with my hand just like Renee used to do when I was sick. The memory of my mother came rushing back to me suddenly. I hadn't even thought of her once since the transformation and I felt horribly guilty at being so self-centered. I could remember her performing this motherly action, smoothing my hair away from my face and comforting me during sickness. I could even see her face, a bit blurry around the edges in my memory, but overall similar to me and full of loving tenderness. But I was having a hard time picturing the exact color of her hair. It was bothering me that I couldn't remember my own mother. I never even got to say goodbye.

I focused for a frustratingly long time on trying to remember little things about Renee. Eventually my thoughts drifted where they always did, and I thought about Edward. I felt awful about running out of the little clearing. But I knew he and his family would be fine. He took down that wolf on his own and surely with the whole Cullen family, there wouldn't be any reason to worry for their safety. I assured myself that the most unprotected person there had been Jacob and I did what I needed to do to keep him safe. I knew I shouldn't feel guilty over what I did – that Edward would have done the same if I were the weak human still needing protection. But it didn't erase the guilt and the tiny seed of fear for their safety.

I looked down to Jake who had fallen asleep on the too small couch. With his head propped against the headrest and his feet hanging off the edge, he would have looked comical if he didn't look so miserable. He was sleeping fitfully and still sweating from the fever. Not even my cold hands seemed to take the edge off as he shivered and burned up in his sleep. When he was finally asleep, I decided to head upstairs for a shower.

I had always found showers to be comforting. I stripped out of my clothes and stepped into the water's spray. In my preoccupied state, I hadn't allowed enough time for the water to heat up and it hit me in a cold rush. I should have been shocked, perhaps even screamed and jumped back. I didn't have any of those reactions. Instead I felt detached- physically and emotionally. The cold didn't affect me like it used to. I still recognized it was cold, freezing even, but it didn't even faze me.

My mind was full of worries – I had no way to know what had happened in the clearing when I ran away with Jacob. I prayed no one had been hurt because of me. I knew logically that seven vampires could protect themselves against the three wolves. I had seen Edward take one down singlehandedly in front of me. I had to believe they would be okay. I had to focus on what to do next. I had created a real mess of things.

I let the now hot water cascade over my face as if they were the tears I could no longer cry. I felt so terribly guilty and alone. What had happened to my life?

I took my time cleaning my hair and letting the warmth work out the tension in my body. After a long while, the water ran cold and I reluctantly turned off the shower and stepped out into the steam-filled bathroom.

Wrapping a towel around myself, I headed back to my bedroom. My wet hair was dripping down my back, but I didn't bother to pull it up. I paused briefly in the hall to confirm the sounds of Jacob's slumber. Once inside my room, I paused in front of the full length mirror on my closet door.

A girl stood there in a towel, dripping water onto the carpet from her long, dark hair. It took me a moment to reconcile the picture before me into my image of myself. She was beautiful. She looked mostly like me, but with subtle enhancements that made a big difference in the overall picture. I stared at my face and into my own red eyes, trying to piece together a picture that made no sense anymore. I realized with a start that I had seen those red eyes before- they were the eyes of my killer, James. I had to look away from my own gaze.

After a few moments, I took a deep breath and dropped the towel to the ground to reveal the rest of my body. I was slim before, but now my muscles were more toned and defined. My legs looked stronger and leaner, my stomach had the slightest hint of a four-pack and my breasts and hips were definitely a little fuller. I didn't know if it was better posture- but I looked taller. And, of course, I was paler than I had been before. I stared in awe at the changes.

For the first time since I had known vampires really existed, I heard the approach of one a split second before they appeared in my window. I snapped the towel up from the floor and closed it around me as I turned around in surprise.

"I'm not sure terrycloth is in this season." Alice deadpanned from her perch in the window. Her face was smiling, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. I immediately knew she was hiding something.

Seeing her in the window, I experienced severely conflicting emotions of relief and disappointment that it wasn't Edward in my room with me right now. I had probably screwed things up worse than even I had thought. Either Edward wasn't willing to see me or things with the wolves had gone badly. It hurt to think he wasn't even willing to see me after what I did. I couldn't even consider the other alternative.

I didn't mean to be rude, but I couldn't help it as I ignored Alice's greeting and got directly to what was concerning me. Edward was conspicuously absent and I needed to know where I stood with him and if he was all right.

"Where's Edward?"

She avoided my question and my eyes. "Jacob needs to go home, Bella."

"Where is he, Alice?" I was starting to get frantic now. What was she not telling me? "What's going on?" I hissed. I gripped the towel tighter to my chest before I realized I really didn't want to rip it to shreds and relaxed my hold a fraction.

She hesitated for a moment, and I realized in a horrible moment of terror that I had grossly miscalculated my decision to flee with Jacob. I couldn't live if my actions had taken away my only reason for existing. I waited for the most terrible news of my short life without breathing.

"Don't be so dramatic, Bella. You're as bad as Edward," she sighed.

I exhaled in relief. Alice wouldn't be so sarcastic if something were truly wrong. With those fears released my ability to breathe returned. But Alice replaced those fears with a different awful story. Edward was with the wolves – willingly. They were holding him in exchange for Jacob. She tried to reassure me that he would be fine, but I could see the doubt and worry she tried to hide.

In addition to my concern for Edward was the nagging in the back of my mind reminding me that I had promised Jacob I would protect him. I had told him he'd be safe with me, that I wouldn't turn him over to those monsters. Now, it was all on the line. I was being asked to break my promise to Jacob to ensure Edward's safe return.

My unpredictable newborn emotions began to get the better of me, and I found myself growing angry. Edward had willingly put himself in harm's way forcing me to betray Jake's trust. Not only had he put himself in danger, but he had made a unilateral decision that would affect everything. I was suddenly furious. Unfortunately, Alice was the only person present to direct my anger on.

"How could he do this!" I heard the distinct sound of wood cracking and looked down to see my free hand gripping the door frame too tightly. I released it and frowned at the obvious dent before returning my glare toward Alice, looking for an explanation of his actions. She raised her hands in an innocent expression.

"I didn't agree with it either," she tried to placate me.

"How dare he!" I fumed on. "He can't just - he shouldn't have- uggh! I'm going to… I'm going to…" I threw my hands in the air in frustration. I was concerned for his safety and angry at his decision to put himself in danger. On top of all that I was angry at him for putting the rest of us in this position. All these emotions mixed together in my hyper-active mind into a confusing mess. The truth was, I didn't know what I was going to do. I wanted to hit him and kiss him and have a very serious conversation about acting like equals, but I knew I was just as guilty as he. I had certainly put him, and really the whole family, in a bad situation when I ran with Jake from the clearing. It was all so confusing. I couldn't really tell if I had a right to be angry with him or the other way around.

Within seconds, I had thought through all of these things and still found no solution. My anger was starting to ebb and I was thinking a little more rationally. I didn't know what I was going to do. I just wanted to see him again.

"What's going on?" Jake entered the bedroom looking alarmed. I guess my raised voice had been loud enough to wake him. His eyes scanned the room and went as wide as dinner plates when he saw me standing there in just my towel. He blushed and averted his eyes. I had forgotten about my lack of clothing in light of Alice's news. Kill me now. This was awful.

It really wasn't a very big towel and it felt like it just got a lot smaller. I gripped it a little tighter around my chest as I tried to inconspicuously stretch it lower to cover more of my thighs. It wasn't working. "Umm. Err, sorry. I thought I heard yelling." Jake's eyes were still cast away from me. But he raised them slowly to glare at Alice, who was leaning innocently against the far wall. She tensed and narrowed her eyes in return. I pushed past my own feelings of embarrassment to focus on the building tension between my two friends.

Jake looked awful. He was sweaty and shaking. "Jake, you should be resting." I placed a hand on his chest to guide him back down stairs- away from Alice's glare. Clearly she was holding Jake responsible for the situation. I felt another pang of guilt at what I had caused. I wanted to tell her to place her blame where it belonged- with me. But Alice spoke first. Surprisingly she addressed Jake.

"You need to go home," she said in a hard voice. He didn't even blink in the face of her anger. Instead he turned to me carefully only looking in my eyes. His face was still flushed, but I appreciated his effort to pretend that this situation wasn't awkward. I felt like an awful person as I prepared to betray the new friendship I felt with Jake to save Edward.

"They have Edward, Jake." I looked to him with pleading eyes, begging him to understand what I couldn't ask of him outright. Understanding crossed his face followed instantly by betrayal. "Jake, it's not like that-" I began to justify, but I couldn't finish because it was. It was just like that. I was asking him to give up his freedom for Edward's. I was the most selfish person alive. We stared at each other in silence.

Alice jumped in again. "Look, in case you didn't know this already, you're one of _them_. They are your people. You belong with them."

Jake gritted his teeth in anger. He looked furious and it wasn't helping his fever. He was shaking violently. I reached out to him. "Jake? Are you okay?"

Even though I could now actually see Alice's super fast movements, she still seemed to move with lightening speed. In a blink she was across the room and grabbing my arm with surprising strength. She pulled me away from Jake with which would have caused me to fall if I were still human. I recovered quickly enough to pull my arm free of her iron grip. "What are you doing?" I hissed.

"We have to get out of here." Her eyes didn't leave Jake's upset and trembling form.

Before I could respond, I heard a loud ripping sound. I watched as Jake, the person who just hours before had been my only confidant, exploded into a giant, snarling wolf in my bedroom. His worst fears were coming to life in front of us and although I knew instinctually that could mean potentially awful things for Alice and I, I also felt fear for him.

"Jake!"

"Run!" Alice yelled as she pulled us both through the window. The glass shattered and fell to the ground outside with us. Instinct took over causing me to land easily on my feet with one hand still gripped firmly around my towel. With one quick look back over my shoulder, I saw a giant red-brown wolf crash out of my window. Before he landed on the ground, we were running away at full speed.

I out- paced Alice by about two strides and was about to reach the tree line, when Alice screamed behind me. It was a horrible, pain filled noise that caused me to stop mid-stride and spin around. What I saw was alarming. Alice's left arm was caught in Jake's mouth. His razor sharp teeth were buried deep in her flesh. I watched as her face went blank from the shock of pain to pure fury. Before I could reach them, Alice swung her free hand into Jake's snout with a bone crunching punch. His teeth released her arm and he shook his giant head as if clearing it. He bared his teeth at us and lowered into an attack crouch.

Alice's left arm laid torn and limp at her side. The rest of her body was tensed for the attack.

"Jake –no! You don't want to do this!" I pleaded with him, but it didn't seem to have any effect. He growled through his teeth, a deep bass tone that shook my bones. Alice crouched low and responded with a menacing soprano snarl. He was going to attack us again and if his earlier speed was any judge- we wouldn't be able to simply out run him. We'd have to fight him off.

I crouched at Alice's side, preparing myself to fight off the huge mass of snarling teeth and fur that used to be my friend. I was so focused on the wolf in front of us, that I didn't even register the other wolves that emerged from the forest until two of them were leaping toward Jake. In one swift moment, they had him pinned to the ground with their bodies. The Jake wolf struggled against their hold, thrashing and snarling. I couldn't seem to tear my eyes away from the sight to make a run for it.

A hand gripped mine from behind and pulled me against a firm chest. With my face buried in his chest, I couldn't see who it was that had grabbed me, but I would know him anywhere. Just his scent alone was enough, but his strong arms wrapped around me and there was no mistaking him. Edward was here. He pulled back from me to gaze into my eyes with love and concern. Apparently satisfied that I was okay, he grasped my face with both hands and kissed me on the top of my head.

"We have to get out of here, now." He released all of me except my hand as he pulled me toward the tree line.

I resisted as I turned to look for Jake. I knew he had just burst into a wolf and attacked us, but I had promised him I wouldn't leave him in the hands of Sam. Understanding my hesitation, Edward assured me that Jake would be okay and that they didn't mean him any harm. Right now, they would be the best people to help him through this. With a regretful sigh, and knowing I had just abandoned my only confidant into the hands of his own fate, I allowed Edward to pull me to the tree line away from the fighting wolves.

**A/N: What? How did Edward get away from the wolves? Why did THEY attack Jake? All will be answered in the next chapter. **

**Review, Review, Review please.**


	16. Chapter 16

**AN: First a GREAT BIG THANKS to Ithilwen K-Bane for being the beta on this chapter. So helpful! She also pointed out to me that I totally missed the fact that Bella is in a towel in ch 16! Seriously! Oops… I couldn't resist going back to the last chapter taking in Jake's reaction to this. Check it out too if you like.**

CH 17

BPOV

Edward and I left the wolves behind us as we ran through the forest toward the Cullens' house. He held my free hand guiding me. The other hand maintained a firm grip on my towel, extremely aware that it was the only thing covering my body.

The feeling of running with him was exhilarating. I was barely using any of my strength and we were moving faster than I had ever driven in any car. I knew the forest was traveling by at an amazing rate, but I could see everything with great detail. I easily avoided branches, roots and rocks that would have spelled a trip to the emergency room only days ago. Without the need to concentrate on my own footing, I was left free to watch Edward run.

He was one stride in front of me, still holding my hand. I suspected that I could outpace him now, but I was enjoying the view too much to care to try. I watched as his back muscles flexed and released with his movements. I knew I should feel embarrassed about ogling him, but the view was just too good. My eyes drifted lower and I could see his perfect rear and strong legs moving in coordination as he ran.

So many things kept getting in between Edward and me really talking. First, there was my attack and shameful run away from him into Jacob and the wolves. Then there was my decision to protect Jacob. And of course, Edward's irresponsible decision to put himself at the mercy of the wolf pack. We had a lot to talk about. I didn't want anything else to distract us from the things we needed to discuss. And I didn't want to wait until we got back to the house, I wanted to talk to him now.

Determined not to put this off any longer, I stopped running and pulled on Edward's hand, still clasped in mine. Unused to my new strength, the force of my resistance yanked Edward back off his feet and he landed flat on his back in the dirt. We stared at each other in shock.

"What the -?" he looked up at me from the ground. I could tell from his almost smirk that he didn't know if he should be angry or amused.

"Oops?" I grimaced. Even as an immortal, I was apparently a danger to others.

He hid his expression with the action of rising back to his feet. He looked at me and quirked an eyebrow. From his sweeping gaze, I knew that he was very much aware that I was less than suitably dressed. I could tell he was trying to be a gentleman and not stare. His eyes locked onto mine, refusing to wander. We stood for a moment in silence. I'm not sure if it was just me, or my new found confidence in my body, but I found myself wishing he was just a little less self-controlled.

"You could have just asked me to stop."

I smiled slightly, hiding my embarrassment and shrugging in response. I was determined not to get sidetracked, even by him. I was again thankful I no longer had the ability to blush. "Sorry about that. I guess I don't know my own strength yet. I, uh, I wanted to talk. "

For the first time since my transformation, I saw a look of panic cross his face. The uncertainty was wiped away as suddenly as it came and replaced with a carefully controlled mask. I would have probably missed the expressions crossing his face before, but with my new eyes I was finding it easier to read him. I didn't want him to hide from me any longer. I was beginning to hate the mask he wore so often.

"Is that okay?" I asked, testing the waters.

"Of course." His answering smile looked forced around the edges and definitely didn't make it to his eyes. I frowned.

He noticed my frown and dropped the fake smile, a slight frown of his own replaced it. I blew out a frustrated sigh–we weren't going to get anywhere like this. We both clearly had things we needed to talk about but weren't going to make any progress if we kept hiding our true feelings from each other.

For the first time since I had known him, I actually wished he could read my mind. I wasn't sure I had the words to say what I really needed to say and I just wanted him to know how I felt about him, how I desperately loved him. I wished he could realize how I was sorry for all the stupid mistakes I made. I wished he could understand that I wasn't sure if he really wanted me with him for eternity and how incredibly frustrating it was when he hid things from me – like his feelings now, or his decision to put himself in harm's way. I knew that my wish was in vain, he had affirmed he still couldn't read my thoughts- but I wished for it deeply.

If I could just ingrain that single truth in his head - _I love you. _If only he could feel the strength of my conviction, I felt like we could get past this awkward barrier now between us. I even imagined the words flowing out past this invisible wall between us into his mind. If only it were so easy.

His eyes widened in shock. I froze in response to his alarm and my eyes quickly swept the area around us. I didn't sense anyone else's presence, we were still alone. Even the forest wildlife seemed to have left us a wide berth. As I scanned the area, he didn't even twitch. He was entirely focused on me.

"Did you just…?" He eyes were wde and piercing as he took a hesitant step toward me. His eyes narrowed in concentration, but he didn't explain. "I love you?" he said cautiously.

"I love you too?" Why was he acting so weird?

Another step toward me and he placed his hands on either side of my face. His eyes bored into mine. They were intense golden pools full of depth and intense concentration. Something was going on- but I didn't get it. I had both hands fisted into my towel, holding it in place.

"I thought…" he whispered so quietly I wasn't completely sure he knew he was talking aloud. His face was so close to mine, his perfect lips just inches away. His sweet breath washed across my face. I could taste him on the back of my tongue. The intensity of the moment combined with the smell made my stomach clench with desire. I closed my eyes briefly thinking of how delicious he was. I was being dazzled again.

"'Yummy!'" he yelled out so suddenly that I jumped. He was beaming, a smile so wide I had to smile in response.

"What?" I shook my head, trying to clear the Edward induced fog from my brain.

"You think I'm yummy." His smile had faded into a cocky sideways grin. He was trying to tell me something

I gasped and finally understood his odd actions. Had he heard my thoughts? Did my desire for him to read my thoughts actually work? My eyes widened with the new realization.

I thought of the first thing that came to my mind and directed it across this invisible barrier I had imagined earlier. His answering laugh was instantaneous. In one quick movement he had me in his arms and spinning us in a circle- my feet dangling in the air. I held onto my towel, delighted in his laughter, but terrified I was going to lose my towel.

"'Pink Elephants on Parade'?" he guffawed indignantly. "I can _finally_ hear you and you send me thoughts of psychedelic Disney movies?"

We laughed together at the absurdity of the moment, both reveling in the moment. He set me down on my feet once again, but did not release his hold on me. I didn't fight the position either, as I leaned into his embrace.

Too afraid to speak and break the spell of the moment, I continued my mental messaging. _"I'm so relieved that you're okay--I don't know what I was thinking earlier. Is everyone okay?"_ I thought at him. His smile was so wide and happy, it seemed to light up the air around us.

"Everyone is fine." He said holding me tightly against him. He smiled down at me. "Hearing your mind is more precious than I had even imagined."

"I love you." I said aloud with conviction. I didn't want to end the contact I had with him, the joy and desire I was feeling at this moment. I just wanted to stay in his arms.

As if submitting to the same desires, he slowly reached out a hand to brush a lock of hair behind my ear. When his fingers made contact, he exhaled as if in relief. I inhaled the air deeply, intoxicated again by his scent. His eyes remained locked with mine as his hand lingered in the air there. His eyes seemed to ask permission. I nodded slightly, and his hand cupped my cheek. His thumb stroked my skin softly.

I closed my eyes and leaned into his hand. It was like nothing I had ever experienced before--I could feel everything. The soft skin of his hand, no longer cold against my skin, felt amazing. The gentle friction of his caresses sent tingles down my spine. I opened my eyes not wanting to miss seeing him.

His own expression was so full of emotion- relief, love and what I could only identify as pain. Knowing Edward, he was feeling guilty about something. I reached out a hand to his face and he leaned into it, his eyes closing briefly. We stared into each other's eyes.

"Oh Bella," he said softly. "I'm so sorry for what's happened to you. I couldn't protect you like I promised. I wouldn't blame you if you hated me." I shushed him and pulled him closer to me. It felt so right having him with me again. It felt like an eternity since we had been this close. He bowed his head and laid it against where my heart had beat not so long ago. I held him to me, stroking his soft hair between my fingers. It was mesmerizing to feel the soft hair pull between my fingers.

In an act that seemed symbolic and too self-loathing for my tastes, he turned his face into me and kissed the spot over my heart. I nudged him and he looked up at me with an expression I will never forget. His eyes were heartbreakingly sad and tortured. His beauty and the expression he wore combined into an overwhelming picture of perfection and pain.

"My selfishness knows no bounds. I have hurt you so badly and yet I have the audacity to sit here and admire your beauty, to bask in your presence. There should be a special level of hell reserved for creatures like me." He paused in his self-loathing to look at me again. Our faces were so close, I could and almost see the non-existent tears in his eyes.

"Edward, no. It's me who should be apologizing. I'm the one who went willingly to James. And you risked yourself to save me. And after–I can't believe I lashed out at you--I was just so out of control. Then I ran from you, again…" he was shaking his head, about to interrupt me. "No, just let me say this. I'm so, so sorry for hurting you like that. And in the clearing. I said things that I didn't mean--not that way--and even though this has been hard, and I wasn't sure about everything in this new life at first… I do know one thing.. I know you are my life. I would give it all up to be with you–all of it. I didn't get to prove that to you, because the choice was taken from me, but I would have chosen you over every benefit of being human. Loving you is worth it all."

"Oh Bella. Please don't feel bad about anything you have done. You are the most selfless, brave person I know. You went to that monster because you thought he had your mother, you thought you were protecting our family. And when you scratched me it was just your natural instincts taking over." I nearly scoffed as his downplaying my attack on him, but I kept quite sensing this was a pivotal moment for us. His eyes turned despaired and I knew he was about to blame himself again. "I should have anticipated your response sooner. I should have never let you out of my sight after James decided to hunt you. I –"

"No Edward, I'm not completely blameless here. To be honest, we're both to blame. We both made mistakes. Would you understand what I meant if I said we're only human?" He smiled at me and stroked my cheek. "I just, I think we could have avoided a lot of misunderstanding if we were being more open with each other. I don't need you to protect me, not physically anyway, like you used to. I just want to know that you want me as much as I want you. That we're in this together- equals." There I said it, I laid out my insecurity on the table.

He was quite for a moment considering my words.

"Do you feel like I don't think you're my equal?" His face scrunched into concerned lines. I took his hand in my free one and watched as I fiddled with his fingers, inter-twining and releasing them as I considered my answer.

"Edward, I know I don't have the right to complain. You're perfect and kind and loving and everything I ever dreamed of."

"But…" he prodded.

"But sometimes, I feel like, like you keep things from me because you think you're protecting me. You hide your real feelings because you're afraid mine will get hurt. And sometimes, you willingly put yourself in danger to keep me safe."

"Perceptive." He whispered as he raised his free hand to run his fingers through my hair.

"But that's what I'm saying. That's not an equal partnership. I love that you care about me enough to do that, but we need to be a team. We can't really trust each other if we think the other person isn't being completely truthful with their feelings or going to sneak off to their death to save them. If you die, I have no reason to live either."

He was quite again for a moment, gazing into my eyes. I tried to convey my conviction to him with my eyes, I don't know what he saw there, but eventually he sighed softly. "You're right. I've been so focused on keeping you safe that I haven't been thinking straight. I can see how that must make you feel. I'm sorry. I love you, Isabella. I do consider you my equal, more than my equal really. I could never live up to your selfless, loving nature. I love you like a desperate fool. You are my world, my salvation, my everything. I will spend every single day of forever loving you, if you'll allow me."

I felt the familiar sensation of tears–the prickling behind the eyes, the tightening of the throat, but no tears fell. I reflexively wiped my eyes of the non-existent tears and he smiled at me fondly. I wondered how long it would take before I adjusted to all the changes in this new life.

"You'll get used to it." I wasn't sure if he was actually reading my thoughts or if he was just that in tune with me.

"I love you, too," I said simply.

"Thank you," he responded, his voice deep with emotion.

He brought our still locked fingers to his lips. He kissed my hand while looking into my eyes. In turn I brought our hands to my mouth and kissed his. It was a promise sealed with our love. We silently basked in the love we shared at that moment.

"Now, about the other part." His crooked grin appeared on his face again.

"Uh, what?"

I looked into his dark almost black eyes and saw a new expression there. His eyes were intense as he stared at me. His hand moved from my cheek down to cup the side of my neck. I watched as his eyes moved to my lips and my own traveled to his in response. I wanted so badly to kiss him. His fingers drifted from my neck across the bare skin of my collarbones. I shivered.

"About me wanting you?" he hinted. To illustrate his point, his eyes finally swept down my body again. I heard a faint growl from his chest.

I gulped. I decided now would be an excellent time to use my newfound skill to send him a message. I concentrated on what I was feeling inside of me–the need for him. I felt the increasingly familiar mental stretch as I pushed the message through the barrier between us. He gasped in surprise at hearing my thoughts again and his lips captured my own hungrily

Our lips joined and moved softly but eagerly together. For the first time, I felt his tongue swipe softly on my lips. I opened them eagerly and our tongues touched lightly. He tasted so good. It was such an amazing sensation and I felt myself growl softly in the back of my throat. That was new.

The kiss was fantastic and cathartic and full of the things we had promised each other. It was the most purely passionate and connected moment of my life.

"I love you," he breathed, pulling away slightly. "Which is why, God help me, I'm going to answer this stupid phone. " I hadn't even heard the phone ringing in his pocket. His eyes raked over my body making it clear that he didn't want to stop. He growled in frustration and pulled his body away from mine a fraction more.

I groaned in frustration. I hated that he was always so in control, but I loved him for it too. I couldn't complain about what we had already shared. I had experienced the most passion I could ever remember feeling and that had only been through kissing.

He released most of me, but continued stroking my arms and kissing the top of my head as I buried my face in his chest. I curled into his body, holding my towel still securely in place with one hand and wrapped my other around his waiste, holding him to me/

"Alice." He paused to listen and although she was speaking quietly, I could clearly hear her words.

"Edward! I'm sorry, I'm only doing this because you …"

"I know," he interrupted, sighing with frustration.

"I thought Bella might want some clothes for her next activity, I sent Jazz. He should be there in a minute."

"Hmm, I didn't even hear him before," he mused to himself. His gaze traveled to me and he smiled softly, "Here, I know you want to talk to her." He handed the phone to me without waiting for a response. He placed another soft kiss on my forehead as I held my towel in one hand and the phone in the other.

"I'll go meet up with Jasper to get your clothes. I'll be right back."

I watched him run away then turned my attention to the phone. "Alice. Are you okay?" I hadn't forgotten about her twisted, limp hand from Jake's attack.

"I'm okay. It will take a little while to heal, but I should be good as new by…" she paused and I could easily picture her expression at that moment, checking her future, "...this time tomorrow." I could hear the smile in her voice, but I still felt awful for what happened.

I paused, not sure of how to apologize to my best friend appropriately. "Listen, I'm really sorry about …everything that happened. For your hand and for running away and for well …everything.

Edward returned with a bundle of clothes for me. I ran my eyes over the very faint scratch marks on his face. To human eyes, they probably wouldn't even be visible, but it still made me feel guilty. I hoped they would continue to heal and that they wouldn't mar his beautiful face forever. He smiled at me lovingly, understanding my expression.

"I know, Bella." Alice replied. "It's not your fault. I'm glad you guys were able to talk, and I really am sorry about interrupting."

"I know, Alice. Thanks. Oh, hey. Where's Charlie?"

"Oh! I completely forgot to tell you. When you were taken by James, we sent Charlie on a fishing trip."

"What?"

"Well, we didn't know how long things would be out of our control and we didn't want Charlie worrying about you missing. So…we arranged for him to win a month long fishing trip to Alaska. All expenses paid of course. He's having a great time."

"Wow. Um. Thanks?" That was Alice, always going to extremes. But in this case it was definitely helpful.

"Don't worry about it. He won't be back for another two weeks so you'll have plenty of time to figure things out and come home."

"Subtle, Alice," I replied with a grin.

"That's me," she replied smugly. "Talk to Edward. Work things out. Come home." She hung up without waiting for a response.

Edward smiled at me as he took the phone and put it back in his pocket.

"It's time," he said ominously as his thumb stroked along my cheekbone.

"For what?"

"You need hunt." He said with a grimace.


	17. Chapter 17

**AN: updated 9/10/11 - This story is in the process of being updated. I plan to expand the story with the wolves and finish up the story the right way. Thank you for your patience as I update these chapters! **

**If you have any suggestions on things you'd like to see included in the story, please let me know! **

**CH 18**

"_**It's time." He said ominously as his thumb stroked along my cheekbone.**_

"_**For what?" **_

"_**You need to go hunting." He said with a grimace. **_

His words brought a strange feeling to my awareness. I had been swallowing convulsively trying to soothe an ache I had not recognized. With the mention of hunting, my throat burned with thirst.

I bit my lip nervously. I had always been curious about this part of the Cullen's lifestyle, but Edward had carefully shielded me from much information. I remembered him saying it was the time they most gave into their natural instincts. So far my instincts had not served me well. I had attacked Edward and then ran – all on instinct.

"I'm not sure if that's such a good idea." I hedged.

"Your eyes are pitch black Bella. You need to eat. Frankly, I'm surprised you've lasted this long."

I nodded my head, resigned to the facts of this new life. I just hoped I didn't screw it up. He held out his hand to me and I took it as I rose to my feet.

As we ran through the woods together, I couldn't help the exhilarated smile that came to my face. This kind of running was so freeing. I held onto Edward's hand as we raced through the woods together. He pulled up until we slowed to a stop, but didn't release my hand.

"Are you ready?" He asked.

I was going to respond, but as I inhaled, I smelled something so divine it immediately captured my attention. My throat burst into flames and although it didn't sooth the burn, I continued to reflexively swallow. The words I had been going to speak to Edward died in my throat as my whole body tensed. I needed to get to the source of that wonderful smell.

"Go," he urged and released my hand.

I didn't give it another thought, my fears about losing control were long forgotten. I raced another few hundred meters until I came upon a lone deer grazing in the woods. Its head snapped up as it sensed my presence. Predator and prey.

A ferocious growl ripped through the otherwise silent trees and if I had the capacity to feel anything other than bloodlust I would have been shocked to realize it came from me. Without further thought I pounced on the deer just as its muscles began to tense. I sank my teeth into its neck, easily slicing through the thick flesh and gaining access to the thing I most desired.

The deer struggled in my grasp and I snapped its neck without any effort. It lay motionless as I drained all the blood from its body. Once I had taken in all it had to offer, the blood lust receded some and I came back to my senses. I dropped the dead animal to the ground with a thud and raised my eyes to see Edward watching me for a short distance. His face was carefully expressionless, waiting for my reaction.

I could feel my eyes widening with the realization of what I had just done. Without any conscious decision to act I had killed that animal and drank its blood. I dimly thought that I should feel nauseated, but I didn't. I felt good, better than good. I felt strong. As I looked to Edward, I realized I also felt incredibly aroused. These feelings only made my feelings of mental unease increase – I had liked drinking the blood, but intellectually I knew what I did was wrong. It was so confusing.

"Oh my God." I said quietly.

I stepped numbly over the dead deer and closer to Edward. He didn't move until I had placed myself directly in front of him. Only then did he encircle me in his arms.

"It gets easier with time." He said.

I nodded into his chest. I was so confused. I felt physically great- euphoric and definitely aroused. It was my mind that was repulsed. I had lost complete control over my body… it was like I was two people. There was the Bella who could make decisions and was disgusted by what I had done and more so by what I was currently feeling as a result. And then there was that other me. The one who _couldn't_ control her actions, who had enjoyed drinking the blood of a living animal and was turned on by it. That was the Bella who wanted to pounce on Edward and rip his clothes off right now. That was just sick and twisted. How could murdering a living animal make me feel like this?

I felt like in this single act, I had learned so much more about Edward. I had truly joined a world I couldn't have understood before my transformation. I couldn't believe the strength he must have exhibited to resist my blood. If the urge to drink my blood was anything like I just experienced, and apparently it was even stronger, he had amazing control. This thought made me feel more shame for my uncontrollable emotions.

He held me for a long time, until I was able to calm myself and come somewhat to terms with these two new Bellas. Once I moved out of his arms, he showed me how to dispose of the carcass so no one would stumble across the evidence. He guided me as I hunted twice more.

After I finished with the third deer, I realized he had not hunted at all. Each time he watched me carefully, holding me if I needed it and providing guidance. His eyes were dark again.

"Edward, you've been so busy teaching me you haven't eaten anything for yourself."

"I hunted about a week ago- I'm not hungry." He said. I frowned in confusion. "Besides, you're not ready to handle someone else feeding in front of you. You'd probably attack me for my dinner." He said with a wink.

I wasn't sure if it was true or if he was teasing me, but I decided to let that one drop. "But your eyes are black." I protested.

He looked away as if embarrassed, but he didn't answer. "What is it?" I questioned.

"It's nothing." He said quickly as he turned to walk back. He was trying to avoid answering my question.

"Come on, you can't just ignore my question. " As I watched him walk away from me, clearly not even considering answering my question, I became increasingly angry. Hadn't we just talked about all this? I felt like a child following him. I felt stupid and insignificant and I knew that I couldn't let this go on any longer. "This is our problem. Right. Here." I growled out the words. "You can't just decide what I get to know and what I don't. If we're really equals, Edward, then you can't treat me like a child."

I was yelling by the end. His back was still turned and I couldn't read his face, but his body was tense. I decided I had already opened Pandora's box, I might as well pour out the rest of the contents. "You can't treat me like this Edward. I am not a child."

His muscles relaxed slightly and I could tell that he wasn't angry. He turned around slowly, warily. The expression on his face confirmed my guess. "You're right. I know. I just… I don't do it to keep you in the dark. Old habits die hard, I guess." He ran a hand through his hair, mussing it unconsciously and he smiled tentatively at me- almost shyly. "It's going to take me a while to get used to the idea that you're not as breakable as you were before. But I promise to try."

I nodded my head accepting his words. "If you aren't hungry, then why are your eyes black?" I pressed.

He shook his head, hesitating.

"Edward." I said, exasperated. "If you want me to trust you, and to learn about being a vampire, you have to teach me. If this is a vampire thing, you should tell me so I can learn." I was pleased with my use of logic.

He looked at me, seeming to gauge my determination to hear the answer.

"I'm not trying to keep secrets from you, it's just kind of embarrassing." He said with a sigh. I still wasn't going to let him off the hook. I remained still, waiting for his explanation in silence. "You know how my, or rather _our_, eyes change color when we're hungry or angry?" he asked. I nodded, not wanting to interrupt his willingness to explain. "Well they change colors with most of our moods – the differences are so slight, most humans wouldn't notice. Hunger, anger and… lust produce the most noticeable changes." he trailed off.

By process of elimination, I realized what he was saying. "You were turned on watching me hunt?" I asked, shocked. I was so relieved that I wasn't a sick, perverted freak like I had thought earlier. Apparently he had been feeling it too.

"It's a natural side effect of watching your mate hunt." He was slightly defensive, but mostly embarrassed. He ran a hand through his hair again.

I was so relieved, I broke out into a huge smile. "Me too!"

He looked at me in disbelief. "Really?" He asked with the beginnings of a smile.

"Oh ya!" I was so excited, I had no filter between my brain and my mouth. "After that first deer, I could barely keep from jumping on you and ripping your clothes off!"

He laughed a loud, hearty laugh as pulled me into his arms. He spun us around once in a circle. "Isabella – you never react how I expect." He looked down at me with a carefree smile. As we looked into each other's eyes the expression on his face changed. His eyes seemed to darken further as they bore into mine, and I was suddenly aware of how very close our bodies were. The earlier desire the hunt had stirred resurfaced ten-fold. I felt a deep instinctual tightening in the pit of my stomach. I recognized his new expression. It was desire…for me. It was unlike any he'd ever allowed to slip past his carefully constructed boundaries when I was human. I felt like my entire body was on fire. I was getting distracted again and I liked it.

The moment was perfect as he leaned in to capture my lips. I leaned into his arms, letting him support most of my weight.

His arms tightened around me in response and the intensity between us seemed to increase. His tongue passed again over my bottom lip and I opened my my mouth willingly as our tongues melded together. His hand rested on the back of my head, securing me to him while his other hand slid to my waist and around my back. He pulled me firmly against his chest.

We had kissed before, but never with this intensity. His razor sharp teeth had always prevented anything this passionate while I was human.

I was so lost in kissing him, it barely registered that we had been moving until my back pressed up against a tree. He leaned his body against mine, pinning me against the rough trunk. My whole body quivered with pleasure. I could feel every line of his firm body molded to every inch of mine.

He released my lips and traveled down my neck. I arched into his kisses, giving him the most access possible. I never wanted this to stop. My hands had a mind of their own as they traveled from his hair, down his broad shoulders and his muscular back. They didn't stop there as they continued lower and grasped his butt. I squeezed his perfect rear as I pulled his hips harder against my own. Our moans were simultaneous this time.

His mouth returned to mine and our tongues and lips continued to move together. He grabbed each of my arms and raised them above my head. He crossed them at the wrists and held them against the tree with one of his hands.

He pulled his head back to look into my eyes. His eyes were on fire and filled with want. I'm sure my eyes reflected the same.

He removed his lips from mine long enough to whisper in a husky voice. "I want you."

I couldn't help myself as my hips pushed harder against his. It felt so good in all the right places. I wanted this man so much. He groaned as his eyes rolled back into his head for a moment.

He returned the pressure of his body against mine. Our kisses continued as our hips moved in synch, pushing and giving in a perfect sync. He held my hands immobile above my head, probably recognizing that, given free use of them I would have lost all control and torn his clothes off. I was already dangerously close to ripping my hands free and doing just that.

We continued to kiss and our intensity steadily climbed to new heights. I suddenly needed more- I needed to touch him. I pulled my wrists free of his grasp with a low growl and ran them over the hard planes of his strong chest. Although he didn't feel as hard as marble to me any more, I could feel the power in his arms and chest muscles. I ripped the shirt open, not even bothering with the buttons.

He growled in response to my aggressive behavior and I growled right back at him. His shirt hung open across his bare chest and I could resist as I moved my lips to the newly exposed skin. He hissed as I ran my hands and lips across his chest. His hands roamed over shoulders and arms while his body still held me pinned to the tree. Suddenly frustrated at the clothing between us I ripped the shirt entirely from his body and dropped it unceremoniously to the forest floor.

"Better," I gloated. I pushed him away from me and a look of confusion passed his face until I stood straight from the tree and pulled my own shirt over my head. His eyes raked over my body in appreciate. I stalked forward to close the distance between us. In one swift move, I knocked him to the ground and straddled him. He immediately tried to take control and flip me under him, but I was stronger. I pushed him back into the ground and he looked quite surprised at my show of strength.

"Bella," he warned.

"No." I would not let him back out of this. Not now. I gripped his muscular arms tighter, expecting resistance.

"Bella." His tone was commanding even though I currently overpowered him and had him pinned beneath me.

"Edward." I mocked in his tone. Taunting him. For the first time in our relationship, I was stronger than him and I intended to take advantage of that fact.

He growled at me. In an unexpectedly quick move, he flipped me off of him and onto my back. Within a blink he was straddling me. Now his arms pinned mine to the ground. I bucked my hips as I tried to knock him off of me. I tried to regain the upper ground, but even though I was stronger, he was more experienced. He smiled down at me smugly and I glared in return. As I realized I had thoroughly lost the upper hand, I couldn't stop the sour look that came over my face and his smug expression turned to amusement. This of course only increased the pout I couldn't seem to wipe from my face. I was so close to finally beating him at his own game.

"Oh Bella." He smiled at me in fondness. He kissed me soundly on the lips, wiping the pout away finally. Our bare skin connected as he laid his chest against mine. I inhaled deeply, enjoying the full contact. Our struggle for dominance momentarily way-laid, we continued kissing and caressing each other. Things quickly escalated and I dragged my hand down toward the button on his jeans. His hand intercepted mine and I looked into his eyes in confusion. He dragged in a deep breath as if steeling himself for something difficult.

"Bella. We can't. We, we have to do this right I've been waiting for so long for you, for this. I promised myself I wouldn't take advantage of you like this."

"What are you talking about? Of course I want this too." I didn't understand what he was talking about, but he was doing too much of it for my tastes. I reached for the button on his jeans again. His hand again covered mine and he brought it to his lips and kissed each of my fingers while I stared at him in confusion. He pushed himself away from me further separating our bodies. I wanted to whimper at the loss.

"This may sound old fashioned to you, but I want, no I need to do this the right way. I can't do this until we're married."

"Are you kidding me?" One look at his face told me he was very much serious. I untangled myself the rest of the way from his arms and stood in frustration. This was ridiculous. At least he had the decency to look chagrined. He remained sitting on the ground while I paced in frustration in front of him. His eyes followed me warily.

"I'm sorry," he offered quietly.

I held up a hand in his direction as I continued to pace. I couldn't look at him right now. He remained silent, but I could feel his eyes on me. My brain was working furiously. I don't know if it was my libido working on overdrive or my newly improved brain but I suddenly knew what needed to happen. I took a deep breath to relax myself and knelt in front of him in the soft dirt. He rose to his knees in front of me looking into my eyes. I looked into his eyes hoping to convey the seriousness of what I was about to say to him.

"Edward. Are you proposing to me?"

He looked thoughtful before he grinned his crooked smile despite himself. "I suppose I am."

"Then ask me." I said with confidence. He looked taken aback for just a moment before he straightened and still kneeling in front of me, took both of my hands in his.

"Isabella Swan. I love you. I promise to love you forever. Every single day of forever." I smiled trying to hide the smugness I was feeling. This was going exactly as I had just planned. My smile faltered when he reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a ring. I looked at him with shock and confusion. He smiled at me with love and adoration shining from his eyes. "I've been carrying this around for a few days, waiting for the right time. I didn't know how you'd… well I didn't see it happening this way. But I'm glad it did. I love you. Marry me?"

Suddenly overcome with the emotion of what was happening, I swallowed tears that would never come and whispered a reverent yes. He smiled and slipped the ring onto my hand, followed by a kiss on the same finger. I looked at the ring on my hand, and although I had been raised to dread this, I felt nothing but love and joy at having it there. His eyes glowed with happiness. He opened his mouth to speak, but I quieted him with a finger on his lips. When I could see he would remain silent, I gathered both of his hands in mine.

"Edward. I love you. I have loved you since the day I met you. I promise to love you every single day of forever. What we have. This. Me and you," I gestured between the two of us with my hand, "this is more than some agreement, a _human_ contract. Marry me. Here. Now." I reached up and plucked out a single strand of my hair. He watched as I wound it around his ring finger. I shrugged in what I hoped was a 'it'll have to do' expression and kissed his ring finger as he had mine.

The air between us was thick with significance. Understanding crossed his face and was confirmed with his words.

"My wife," he breathed in reverence. His eyes lifted to mine in awe.

"My husband," I confirmed.


End file.
